The Glass Darkly

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Power Hungry?

Am I infatuated with power? I couldn't help but wonder as I sped down a back country road today to release some nervous energy after a very interesting seminar session. I suppose a bit of my father emerges when I enjoy the tremendous power in a car engine, albeit a little 4-cylinder Mazda. But it sure beats traveling in our mini-van with my kids, when I would be much more safety-minded! (Of course a standard-shift Subaru or my brother's Dakota Sport would be even more fun.) But, alas, I am supposed to have grown up by now and lost my infatuation with that kind of power.

Or maybe it's the potential for power or power held in check that intrigues me more. Afterall I was always the one at the county fair who would enjoy the challenge of showmanship classes with cattle or goats when the judge would give us the toughest animals in the ring to persuade to behave. I also enjoyed moving the biggest and meanest-tempered steers around. It might sound weird and probably wasn't the best trick, but my friends and I would "hide" each other's animals at times to scare the owners that they had lost their precious show animals. Rarely would my friends suspect me because I was so small. But I loved the challenge of those big animals. There was something about their power that I respected, especially when I knew they were choosing to control it around me.

And I suppose whoever is reading this is probably wondering what in the world does this have to do with anything! I was psycho-analyzing myself again in light of a conversation I had about Hillary Clinton. The person I was talking to can't stand Hillary because she is "power-hungry." She went on to say that Hillary will say things just to get elected. (of course how many politicians do that!?!) Her words, however, are backdropped by her comments a few years ago that she couldn't stand Hillary because she was a "power-hungry woman." Now that probably best completes this woman's true thoughts. A lot of her "hate" ironically has to do with Hillary's being a woman.

I think the problem with Hillary that most people don't like is that she is VERY logical, a true THINKER/JUDGING personality on the Myers-Briggs and not many people know what to do with women like that. Add to it, I'm sure Hillary has had to consider how she might need to compensate for any mis-perceptions people may have that a woman may be too soft or not be able to handle the grueling tasks a President may have to respond to. You can't deny that Hillary is extremely prepared, organized and runs a very tight ship. I think some women perceive her to be calloused and cold and too calculating. And to all of this I say, "if any man was thus described, he would be emulated or at least not ruled out for these reasons." Most people would agree that leaders need to make hard decisions in hard ways at times!

I have a number of people in my own family who get on kicks about "power-hungry women." I remember comments about my beloved Aunt who passed away a few years ago. Though now everyone has only good to say about her, there was plenty of back-stabbing going around when I was little since she decided to go to college and work her way up the ladder in the medical profession. She was basically the bread-winner of the family since my uncle was more or less an itinerant pastor. While I think my grandfather was proud of her, he had a funny way of showing it by complaining about how she worked all the time. And there were grumbles from others who implied that my Aunt was arrogant and power hungry and felt she was better than everyone else because she was more educated.

I can't help but wonder how many people who get offended by women like Hillary Clinton do so more because they really think she is power-hungry or because she is a woman aspiring to a very powerful position. And I can't help but wonder, if my dearly-loved grandfather would still be living, would he say the same about me as he did my aunt? Would he see me as power-hungry and arrogant because I appreciate education and leadership and, yes, driving fast cars and working with wild animals and . . .

Do high aspirations or the joy of challenges make one "power-hungry?" Or do we like to reserve "power-hungry" as a label to categorically dismiss those we don't like or at times perpetuate sexism?

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