Do we really accept people who are different?

(just click on the box if you want to read it)

"Oh no...not another personality inventory!", I thought as I sat in my last class on supervision. It seems that over the years I have taken more surveys and inventories to analyze my own tendencies and that of others on a team than I can count. Looking at how I handle conflict, what kind of leader I am, what kind of team player I am, what is my personality like, what kind of analyzer I am. And of course I've taken lots of spiritual gifts inventories and even a church planting inventory. By now I should be so enlightened and understand myself so well, yet the truth is I have never been comfortable with who I am and the ways I handle anything! How ironic!

So this past week I was dreading, yet another session on the Myers-Briggs inventory. I just wanted to go home. I have never been good at these tests. I am not a single-minded person and that is one of the reasons I have always struggled to accept myself and to get meaningful results from those annoying surveys. But this past week, to my surprise, my professor was able to shine a bit of different light on the subject that I felt was insightful and helpful.

On this particular survey, you are asked questions to determine how you fit into 4 categories.
1. Extroversion / Introversion
2. Sensing / Intuitive
3. Thinking / Feeling
4. Judging / Perceiving

The first category basically measures where you derive your energy from - being around people or in quiet times by yourself. The others describe more how you interpret life situations and approach problems. In short, the left side describes people who depend more on schedules, facts, logic and analytical processes. They are seen by society as dependable and safe and are good at maintaining what is. The words on the right side are more the people who trust hunches, react more to the feelings of others and care less about time than thinking "outside the box." These people are imaginative, innovative and get excited about change. While we all possess some of each of these characteristics, we tend to score more to one side or the other in each category.

What has always been frustrating to me is that I often score nearly equally in categories 2, 3 and 4. I read the questions and can see myself reacting in different ways depending on the situation. My professor commented, "you probably feel like you are schizophrenic," to which I and a few others in the class said "YES!" Her explanation was both enlightening and reassuring.

Statistics show that between 75% and 85% of Americans tend to score toward the left in categories 2-4. Only about 25% of people tend to be the intuitives and perceivers, the innovators and dreamers. And to top it off, she confirmed what I have believed for a long time, our society often does not encourage people to be innovators and dreamers. In fact we TRAIN people to be otherwise! For these kind of people tend to jump around a lot in ideas, maybe are not good at following directions and are often seen as "out there" somewhere. In schools we teachers tend to crack down on students like that because we say they can't focus, follow directions and pay attention! We teach children the scientific method and linear thought processes like causation and correlation and implication. We train ourselves as professionals to think critically, to analyze to problem solve in order to improve efficiency and effectiveness, all to maintain what is good and maybe improve what is lacking, but usually within the box of the system or situation in which we find ourselves.

So that is why I get into these dilemmas. On my own, I function more to the right. But my life experiences and professional training have taught me to function more on the left. In fact, I realized the other night that I had even come to believe that when I functioned according to my natural tendencies that I was WRONG -- literally -- that I was not good. There are lots of indicators that we, as human beings, unknowingly use to teach one another when someone does something that is annoying or what we perceive as inappropriate. Our natural tendencies in societies and cultures is to teach CONFORMITY, NOT encourage people to be DIFFERENT.

The implications are amazing! In my class we are looking at hiring and teaming practices. Of course we should try to include at least some of those innovators and pushers for change. We should surround ourselves with not only the dependable maintainers, but also those who are willing to add a different voice to the common views.

Additionally, my professor encouraged us to look at our children and students. This had the greatest impact on me! I realized just how much I push for conformity in my children. Too often I'm oblivious to my tactics! As I was once told, my one daughter is definitely marching to the beat of a different drummer. It's pretty obvious she is one of those more to the right. Her teacher has given me ideas of how to challenge her and develop her gifts, and I know that I need to find ways to nuture her and help her build confidence in her abilities and dreams. The last thing I want to do is make her feel bad for being the way she is just because she is different.

So I guess the other night was not "just another one of those sessions" after all. I felt God stepped in to start a healing process in me so that I can be a better parent and teacher. As I learn to accept and understand myself better, I hope I will do a better job of being more accepting of the diverse gifts in my children and students.