I got sent to the principal's office!

Scary to say, I often drive home from work in a kind of numb state, my mind replaying my day over and over until I can put it to rest and refocus on getting home to my family. Tonight was no different, just later than usual. But this time I jolted myself from my numbness when I heard my voice say in the darkness, "I feel like I was sent to the principal's office today!"

What??? Me say that???

I did exactly what I see students do most times they get sent to my office . . . and I occasionally ask them why . . . why do they assume the worst? I see worried looks as they sit in the lobby. I hear their questions, "what did I do? am I in trouble?" They seem to associate the "principal's office" with something bad that must have happened.

I spend a good part of most days calling students to my office. I would love to say that most of the cases are for positive reasons: awards, appreciation, student initiatives, etc. But the truth is, more of the cases I deal with involve the need for restoration: a chance for the student to acknowledge actions or words which damaged the trust and health of the community and then an invitation for him/her to commit to making things right again. More often parents and students refer to this as discipline.

And no matter how good restoration sounds, discipline is painful. But interestingly enough, both discipline and restoration require similar heart attitudes: humility, honesty and courage. Too often, however, when we feel guilt or shame, we can only focus on the feelings of humiliation, violation, anger or distrust. I guess this is normal for our human hearts, but I know, in my head, it is unfortunate. As an administrator I always look to the potential good that can come out of such meetings, but it sure is hard to deal with in myself. Like the students, I can feel sick over having to expose or admit any faults or weakness.

I sure would love to take the rap off of the idea of "going to the principal's office." But I guess I learned tonight that I can't blame the students. Even I subconsciously make a negative connection. And, for the record, lots of good things do happen in principals' offices. So maybe I shouldn't feel so bad after all.