Are we too clean?

I remember when I was a little girl going to visit my grandmother whose house was not so child-friendly. My brothers and I were not allowed to play in the house and we had to be careful not to touch the clean white walls when we climbed the stairs to the bathroom. It's funny, I know my grandmother loved us, but it was clear she did not love the dirt and mess that often comes with kids.

On a personal level, having a family has helped me get over my perfection in that area. I've given up my dream of a clutter-free kitchen and spotless floors. I feel good if I can just get all the laundry folded and put away before I start my next string of loads . . . and some weeks, even that doesn't happen. But when I have people over, do you think I want them to see my toy-strewn rooms? No way! Somehow I think I'm too good for that. I don't want people to see how I really live. I want people to see the perfect me and my perfect house.

I've heard it said that sometimes church can look too perfect. Somehow people look like everything is peaceful, predictable and perfect: perfect families, perfect jobs, perfect homes, etc. . . . in other words, too "clean." A church like that can be very intimidating if a person doesn't feel like his or her life is "clean" enough. Even if those in the congregation are friendly and long to extend love to "outsiders," a perfect image can become an obstacle to those receiving the hospitality.

How does this happen? We certainly wouldn't want to push people away! It comes down to transparency and trust. As we commit ourselves to being in community and learning to trust one another, we can begin to admit our struggles and weaknesses and, in turn, experience healing love. We can learn the beauty and art of depending on one another and receiving just as much as we give. Unfortunately, until then, our lives cannot fully experience freedom in Christ. And until we can live out our freedom in Christ, our lives are not real to those around us. Instead they appear as untouchables, too clean, too perfect, even too vulnerable.

If we as Christians try to maintain an image as those who have it all together, no troubles and a perfect handle on our lives, inadvertently we send subtle signals that those who have struggles may be loved, but their "dirt or life mess" is an inconvenience or doesn't fit in. As we are willing to reveal our own messes and confess our needs, we can experience a release of the Spirit who brings healing through the Body. Our lives become living testimonies to the freedom Christ offers us. Then our churches can be transformed from uncomfortable places of perfection to safe havens of healing.