Being an American Mom

I'm so tired. Even the simplest of questions seem like mountains to climb. People ask, "is your baby colicky?" I have no idea. One day she screams all day and the next she sleeps all day. All I know is that my brain is fuzzy, my eyes hurt and I wish I had some magic potion to make my daughter happy and content. Thank goodness my husband is willing to rescue me when I'm at the end of my rope. I know many women who do not have such support.

I think about what my life with a newborn would be like in a country like Cambodia. My husband would have few chances to ever help with the care of the baby. First of all, I would have women in my house all day long. I would have no choice in the matter. They would automatically come with their children and babies, snacking and giving constant snacks to the children. The older women would bestow unsolicited advice upon the younger ones who would follow every word. In fact, I know that my former land lady would not even wait until I figured out how to do what she suggested, she would just take my baby and do it. Either an older daughter or niece would be there to cook food for everyone and keep after the kitchen. If I wasn't working outside the home, I would sit around all day with them while someone else would run to the market and do the laundry. That is the way it works in that culture.

To a weary mom, this scenario sounds like heaven -- someone to give me advice and an extra pair of arms when mine can't hold my fussy baby another minute longer. As a foreigner from America, I would probably struggle at times with the lack of privacy and perhaps feeling smothered. It is important to me to manage my home, keeping it organized and running smoothly. I am sure it is a control issue with me. It took me a long time to release some of the care of my home into the hands of someone else.

Yet, I really felt like that was one unsolicited lesson God taught me that transcends culture -- to release control and let down my pride. I needed to become less concerned with my image as a homemaker and more grateful for their loving contributions. I don't have people in my home constantly here - in fact many days are pretty quiet. Yet I think God is teaching me that lesson again ... release my pride -- I am not always strong enough to handle a screaming baby myself ... and release my control -- she is her own person and I will not always be able to make her happy. In response I am learning to humbly accept and appreciate the offers of help and support my friends and family offer here -- the American way.