Our Two-Year Old's Christmas Story

Entering the Christmas season with a two year old in America has been interesting and fun. We didn't really have a "Christmas experience" with our first two until they were ages 3 and 4. And that year we were still dealing with language and cultural readjustment issues as a family. A two-year old is just developing her language, so it is always a surprise to find out, "yes, she really does understand that!"

We put up our Christmas tree the other night. I handed our older two children their shoe boxes from the storage space and they ran with anticipation to the table to review its contents. These boxes contain ornaments from many different decades. Most of the ornaments are ones the children made in pre-school, kindergarten or first grade. They loved looking at each one and commenting on what they could remember about them or commenting on their little pictures on some of them. There are also ornaments which were from my childhood and the children ask about who gave them to us. My mother added some of her ornaments to our tree this year. Some have pictures of me and my brothers. Others are just fun ornaments which have weathered decades of Christmas trees. A couple belonged to my brother who died years ago and our children have always found that story worth reviewing. Each ornament represents a story or a person.

So the ornaments and their stories began finding places all over the tree. We don't really "decorate" the tree, I guess. It basically ends up being a place for all these little stories to hang for a month while we review them in our minds and enjoy the lights. The children did a much better job this year spreading them out . . . less clumps and more thought about what ornaments they wanted where.

One important consideration was our two-year old! Of course any of the ornaments that came out of the boxes carefully wrapped in newspaper were destined for the top of the tree. I didn't have to spend much time explaining why. Our little one immediately started pulling on the lights and wanting to examine each item. She was persistent in babbling on about each one. We allowed her to put a few of the "safe" ornaments on the tree: the soft stuffed ones, the wooden ones and a few of the hand made clothes pin types or plaster-types. Then we started the process of looking at each one, making comments and finally, making it clear if she was allowed to touch it or not. She got that down pretty quickly.

Beside our tree we set our "holy family." This year's nativity story has been another persistent conversation with our two-year old. She is at the stage where "mommy, daddy and baby" are the main characters in any picture she notices, whether it be of people, animals or even toys. Since Advent and Christmas are all around us now, she talks about "baby Jesus, mommy Mary and daddy Joseph" all the time. She can't bear to see a baby without its mommy, and if there is one, whom she perceives fits the role of "daddy," she insists it must sit next to the mommy. I find this intense order of relationships fascinating in such a young child. I suppose it is a security thing at that age??? There seems to be safety and comfort in that picture for her.

Well, it happened yesterday. We no sooner walked in the door from church and she marched over to the tree and started exclaiming about one of the ornaments. One ornament she can touch is a stuffed "mommy" gingerbread. She had suddenly spied a "daddy" version which was up high towards the back of the tree. The case was clear -- no choices in the matter -- the "daddy" had to be relocated down on the other side of the tree so he could sit beside the mommy.

So this year's Christmas message from our two-year old's perspective is about family. There is a "complete" picture of family and a "broken" picture of family that needs to be fixed. As I think about it, in some ways Jesus was born out of wed-lock, a sign of brokenness. I wonder if this incomplete picture of "family" is disturbing to other young children, whether they can express it or not. What a blessing that Joseph was willing to step into that picture and be the "daddy" figure for baby Jesus . . . be the daddy that stands next to the mommy to partner in the task of parenting.

We all need people to surround us as parents, and even more so for those who are parenting on their own!!! What a gift it can be to have others who are willing to step in to support the efforts of parents and share their love and comfort with the children. I can't help but think of all the broken families we know and how many of those children need the security of a "mommy" or "daddy" figure in their lives. I also know people who have found ways to fill in those gaps in society, maybe not exactly in the way Joseph did, but nontheless in meaningful ways that help to bring a sense of security and safety to children: foster care, supporting single parents and their children, mentoring a young person, adoption . . . I have learned in a more real way just how children need the security and love in their home and how caretaker roles can take many forms. I have also heard countless stories in which people indicated a special person who "was like a dad" to them. Or I have heard people refer to someone as a "spiritual mother" or an "adopted grandparent." These roles are so ingrained into our human fiber that without them, we feel incomplete and in need of security.

Jesus entered a picture of brokenness and out of that brought completeness to our broken pictures and those of the people around us. We never know, we might be the very ones He calls to be His presence . . . "filling in the gaps" and bringing a sense of security and comfort to someone or a family who needs it. Thanks to my two-year old for the reminder.