Introduction to Alone-ness

Over the years I have come to recognize the difference between being alone, feeling lonely and desiring to stand alone. As I look back over my personal journals, I did a lot of writing about these concepts. I find it funny on one count because aside from short seasons of my life, I cannot say that I am a lonely person. In fact I am usually a very social person, but one who also chooses to escape my social settings at times to be alone. As I reflect on three particular experiences of alone-ness which I have observed in my life, I wonder if we, as humans, use alone-ness in healthy ways.

As a child I had a lot of alone time. It was wonderful, nurturing and refreshing times, usually at my piano or in the barn with my animals. Those times were tremendously important to my health, emotionally, spiritually and physically. When I lived abroad, I was never alone, never. I always had other women in my home; my work centered on training and coaching people; my afternoons and evenings were spent with students; and my nights were spent with the young women who lived with us. Yet, amazingly, there were times, especially in the beginning when I felt very alone. My life was filled with people, yet my feelings of inadequacy and lack of privacy made me feel very lonely. Finally, upon my return from overseas and re-adaptation to American culture, I realize how our views of alone-ness makes a big difference in how others perceive us or feel they can relate to us. Not only did I feel a shock returning to a culture where people are more distant from each other, but also, I returned to a country which enjoys a certain level of imperialistic isolation from the rest of the world.

My journals touch on these three experiences of my life. I think I will post some of them to help me more clearly explain my ideas about loneliness versus choosing to be alone over the next couple days. We'll see if I receive any new revelations.