Just Look Me in the Eye!
Have you ever heard someone say, “look at me when I’m talking to you!”
I was talking with a friend the other day about her experiences when she traveled through the Middle East in the late 90’s. She started in Egypt, traveled through some Palestinian territories, and most interestingly, ended in Israel. One of the questions I asked her was what it felt like as a woman in the different cultures. She described how she had to be more careful to be respectful in a Muslim country. One comment which stood out to me was that in Egypt, she was very careful never to make eye contact, especially with men. In her words, “it could be dangerous.” I had heard that before from an American woman working in an international school in Cairo. Eye contact can take on so many meanings.
In Asia, where I lived for several years, the use of eye contact was something I had to learn about. I was told that it is considered disrespectful. When people talk, they rarely or never look directly at one another. Direct eye contact is used when someone is speaking angrily at another person or daring another person toward a fight. Basically, someone who dares to make eye contact is asserting authority, either presumed or earned, over another person who better submit . . . or else.
In contrast to both these examples, American culture labels eye contact as an act of respect. From little on up children are taught to look at who’s talking and look at the person to whom they want to speak. I have even heard American teachers say, regarding students from other cultures, that they can’t understand why the students don’t look at them when talking. Teachers sometimes misinterpret this behavior as disrespectful, suspicious, extreme shyness, not paying attention. Culture Clash. I wonder how the student interprets direct eye contact from the teacher.
I also wonder what other cultural interpretations there are for looking someone in the eye.
I was talking with a friend the other day about her experiences when she traveled through the Middle East in the late 90’s. She started in Egypt, traveled through some Palestinian territories, and most interestingly, ended in Israel. One of the questions I asked her was what it felt like as a woman in the different cultures. She described how she had to be more careful to be respectful in a Muslim country. One comment which stood out to me was that in Egypt, she was very careful never to make eye contact, especially with men. In her words, “it could be dangerous.” I had heard that before from an American woman working in an international school in Cairo. Eye contact can take on so many meanings.
In Asia, where I lived for several years, the use of eye contact was something I had to learn about. I was told that it is considered disrespectful. When people talk, they rarely or never look directly at one another. Direct eye contact is used when someone is speaking angrily at another person or daring another person toward a fight. Basically, someone who dares to make eye contact is asserting authority, either presumed or earned, over another person who better submit . . . or else.
In contrast to both these examples, American culture labels eye contact as an act of respect. From little on up children are taught to look at who’s talking and look at the person to whom they want to speak. I have even heard American teachers say, regarding students from other cultures, that they can’t understand why the students don’t look at them when talking. Teachers sometimes misinterpret this behavior as disrespectful, suspicious, extreme shyness, not paying attention. Culture Clash. I wonder how the student interprets direct eye contact from the teacher.
I also wonder what other cultural interpretations there are for looking someone in the eye.
posted by Gecko Girl at
7:47 AM
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