The Glass Darkly

How God-Moments Build Community

2011-03-02T20:44:00.008-05:00

The story I shared in middle school chapel:

My life did not begin here in Lancaster County. I was born just north of here in Lebanon County. My home seemed in the middle of nowhere with a wooded mountain sloping up behind our home, rolling out into pastureland and fields below us. I grew up spending hours outside playing in the creek that ran along our pasture, working with my 4-H project animals which I showed every summer at the fairs, and helping my dad in his shop working on cars, trucks and motorcycles. I lived in a farming community where most of my friends went to one of three nearby churches and we all went school together at the local public elementary school.

But in 3rd grade things began to change for me. It was the year my baby brother was born. My parents wanted my next-to-younger brother to get better learning support, and so, with financial help from my grandparents, they decided to pull us from public school and send us to a small, private, Mennonite school here in Lancaster County. Suddenly I was pulled from my neighborhood friends and was forced spend my days with a whole new community. Not only were there new friends, but there were new ways of doing things, new ways of learning things. I now had Bible class every day. I began memorizing long passages of Scripture, like the Beatitudes in Matthew 5, the love chapter in 1 Corinthians, several of the Psalms, like Psalms 139. I had to wear long dresses to school every day. Things were different.

But what I entered changed my life forever . . . for it was in that school community where I began to formulate, more personally, what Faith was. We were invited to put into practice the verses we read and learned in the Bible. Every morning we prayed with our teachers for each other, for our families and for our school. We even prayed for people around the world. In fact in my first year there, we collected soap for Cambodia and sent it to MCC. It was for the refugees who fled the genocide by the Khmer Rouge in the late 1970’s. I had no idea then that one day, as an adult, I would go to live in post-war Cambodia.

Many students and many adults talk about middle school as being the worst years of their school life. But if I am honest, my middle school years were my favorite of all. Because my school was small, we could get through our lessons quickly and then spend more time doing lots of fun things outside of the classroom.

One was producing our own yearbook. Some of the pictures I’m showing you today come from different yearbooks over the years I was in that school. I love to watch our yearbook staff here at LMMS because it brings back many fond memories of producing a yearbook when I was in middle school. But we did not have computers back then. We took the pictures, developed the film and then worked to develop the photos and paste them onto big graph-paper sheets. Here is a yearbook that was produced when I was in 5th grade. For some reason they put a picture of me with my friends sitting in homeroom singing with my guitar as the cover for that year!

We also ran a greenhouse all year round growing poinsettias for Christmas and Spring flowers for the school auction. There were some years we had a horse club where students could go to a nearby farm and learn how to care for and ride horses. We got to go ice-skating on the farmer’s pond each year in the winter. We planted flowers around the school and painted outdoor buildings. Our choir went to different churches on Sundays to sing and we even came down here to LMH for the middle school choir festival. As classes, we got to know one another quite well and enjoyed working, playing and learning together.

We also spent a lot of time learning how to worship together, sing and pray. There were a number of us who liked to write our own music and poetry and would share them during devotions. I didn’t realize it then, but the fact that I was part of a school community where Faith in Jesus was central, impacted my life dramatically and helped prepare me for the next step of my life in high school.

When I graduated from 8th grade at that school, my grandparents could no longer help pay for our education. So instead of coming here to LMH with many of my friends, I needed to return to public school. My life was taking another dramatic shift and I was very nervous about returning to a much larger school where I only knew a few friends from my church. For the first time I was able to process the fact that I was going to miss my friends from middle school, not just because they were my friends, but because they had become my support and encouragement over the years. My classmates all prayed for each other before graduation, that we would feel the presence of Christ go with us, no matter what school we would go to. I continued to pray for that as I found my way around my high school.

I very much enjoyed my years in high school. I had lots of friends. I was part of lots of fun activities and extra-curriculars. But when I graduated from high school, I did not feel the same bond with my class as I had felt with my middle school class. There was something different. And to this day I have much less interest in reconnecting with my high school classmates as I do with my middle school class. Members of my middle school still enjoy connecting with one another. What was the difference?

I come back to the word, “community.” We talk a lot about community here at LMS, and for good reason. But community is not something that just happens, it is something that is built. And I would say that a community built on a common faith in Jesus, practicing the love and care he had for others makes all the difference. Me and my Christian friends in high school still enjoy getting together too – we became a caring mini-community within our public high school.

I like to say it’s the “God moments” that make the difference. I had lots of God moments, every day in my middle school years. I felt the love and care of my school community as my classmates and I learned how to express encouragement, pray for each other, work through conflict, extend forgiveness and find ways to serve others together. We became very close through these practices. God-moments are when people extend the love of Christ to each other in thoughtful, surprising and practical ways. Let me tell you about some God moments I’ve seen in the last few weeks.

• Last year our middle school put together health kits for people in Haiti following the earthquake and many students went to visit with elderly folks in local nursing homes. Those days were filled with God-moments, when we worked together to serve and care about others.
• Students have been helping each other clean out lockers and look for missing books. They are sharing their time and energy, the love of Christ, in a God-moment.
• I recently heard a couple voices of encouragement to a student asking if she was ok after being ridiculed and laughed at in the hall. Those encouraging words were a beautiful example of extending love . . . that was a God moment.
• Last week, two students welcomed someone from another country into their day, one from China and one from France. Those days were filled with God-moments, sharing love and respect across cultures.
• The quiet prayers of classmates for someone who is afraid her life-long pet won’t be there when she gets home from school are precious God-moments.
• Students sharing prayer requests for parents, family friends and neighbors are amazing God-moments.
• I saw students helping each other up in sincere kindness when they fell during skating or sledding recently. Those were God-moments.
• I heard the voices of students expressing care for a frustrated teacher after a class that was difficult. Those were God moments for that teacher.
• God moments include cheering for all participants in the talent show and standing in respectful quiet while a student performs a Korean dance.

These are holy moments. Moments where we show our care for one another. It is how we build community and make school a place that is different, a place where love is put into practice, where we can feel safe, especially at a time in our lives when our self-confidence can be quite fragile.

More than anything, I want you to feel like you are part of a middle school community that loves you and cares for you. I want middle school to be a fun and enriching time of your life. Not everything was easy for me in middle school. I learned a lot about how to be a better friend and more caring. And so this is a time for you to learn too, skills of kindness, honesty, encouragement, peacemaking, gentleness, goodness . . . all the character traits that show that the Holy Spirit of Jesus himself lives in you and in your friends. This is an opportunity for you to live a new life and make Faith something that you can carry with you no matter where you go.

My prayer for each of you and for this school is that the peace of Christ be all around us, over us, under us, within us, so that our school community and classes can share a bond that goes deeper than we could ever imagine possible.

Lord Jesus, may it be so.

AMEN.

Prayer from the Beatitudes

2011-03-02T20:38:00.001-05:00

Jesus, give us the wisdom and courage to be poor in spirit. . .
in a world that glorifies power and fame.
Give us the wisdom and courage to mourn. . .
because we know you are with us always.
Give us the wisdom and courage to remain meek. . .
and to be mindful of the truth that all we have and all we accomplish comes through you.
Give us the wisdom and courage to always do what is right. . .
even when what is right is not what is popular or easy.
Give us the wisdom and courage to be merciful. . .
even when it is very difficult to forgive.
Give us the wisdom and courage to be pure of heart. . .
even when we feel overwhelmed by jealousy or a thirst for power or popularity.
Give us the wisdom and courage to be peacemakers. . .
in a world torn apart by violence.
Jesus, give us the wisdom and courage to remain strong when people make fun of us because we love you and follow you. . .
may we never forget that our reward in heaven is great!

Amen.

Challenges of adjustment

2010-07-01T22:15:00.006-04:00

I started this blog about a year after my family and I returned from seven years living in Asia. I was really struggling at the time with reverse culture shock. I tried talking to some people about it, but it was difficult to find friends and people who were willing or able to help.

I had left a place where I felt I lived purposefully. Every waking moment was a challenge . . . everything from functioning in 100 degree weather to maneuvering through crazy traffic patterns to learning new language, food and culture. On top of that, I was learning to work with people to develop a devastated nation. One's sensibilities are constantly sharpened in finding ways to respectfully bestow dignity on those who feel inferior in the world yet are courageously thinking outside of the box in which they were born to make their corner of the globe a better place.

Coming back to the United States, I was thrown into a living situation where I felt isolated from people. I felt like my life lacked purpose. I had no friends to sharpen my notions and observations. I observed people who lived as though they had all the answers or they were the answer to the world's problems. I got the immediate sense from some that I should conform to the box in which I had been born. The problem was that, for various reasons, I didn't feel like I fit in. There were people around me, yet I felt lonely and useless.

I'm recalling all this because a dear friend of mine is going through similar struggles of reverse culture shock, feeling lonely and feeling useless. His is even more pronounced as he spent over 15 years abroad. My heart goes out to him because he can't seem to get to the root of his pain and depression. This experience is in many ways a like an identity crisis, but also one that requires a grieving period. I grieve with him and for him, for one, because I can identify, and two, because he is not giving himself the time to grieve. He is trying to re-live his past to get rid of the pain. The problem is that life can never be re-lived as it was before.

Up until our return, my husband and I had spent the majority of our married years in Cambodia. We started our family there. Even in seven years, many family patterns are established and it is not easy to just up and change. And the leaving behind of friends, place and life experiences initiates a necessary grieving process. I still grieve that loss, just as I had grieved the loss of my brother for many years afterward. At times a particular memory or incident can bring a splash of grief washing over me again. But as time goes on, the pain is not as intense or prolonged. We must allow for this grief in order to heal and let go of that chapter of life.

And the truth is, not everyone encounters this difficulty at the same intensity level. My husband seemed to re-acculturate much more quickly than I. I think part of it was that he got a job right away and was able to experience a sense of impact and mission in his work. Within a year he was working with lots of people with overseas experience. The kind of friends he was able to connect to were those who enjoyed critiquing issues and discussing global affairs. This was encouraging to him and I believe it really helped him get his mind off of the challenges of readjustment.

It’s almost 6 years since our return and I still blog occasionally about what it is like to re-adjust to living in the United States. There are times I still don't feel like I totally fit in as an American or as part of a unique Pennsylvanian culture. But over time, I've found a few friends who are willing to hear or share my worldview and idiosyncrasies. So I've not felt as much a need to reflect. But I pray that my friend will make space for reflection and find a way to process his thoughts and grief. He is depressed and lonely. I think that, like me, he needs people to listen and encourage him. I pray God will speak to him through others who can love him even in this difficult time of transition.

Community vs. Isolation

2010-05-28T20:51:00.006-04:00

A commentary from a friend of mine who hosted a pastor from Cambodia:

"One of thing Pastor Abraham found disturbing about America was that no free tea was offered for breakfast or lunch in diners or food establishments. In Cambodia, one would walk into a noodle shop, sit at table with other people, drink free tea and actually talk to those other people. He noticed what a highly individualized society America was as opposed to a more community based Cambodia. We leave our houses that are hidden by fences, trees and woods, and drive alone to our job where we work in our office or cubicle until we head alone back down the highway to our isolated houses that could hold many Cambodians ( Isn’t it lonely with only a husband, wife and a couple of kids in that big house?) He was not so much being critical as he was lamenting the way things are for us in our way of life. I have experienced both aspects of isolation and community. Frankly, I have missed the community since leaving Cambodia."

I, too, have observed that conversations about "community" are very different here in America than in Cambodia. Here we are always talking about how we need to "build" community. In Cambodia "community" is a common part of language describing a living reality of society. One's identity in Cambodia is closely tied to the community -- the place where one grew up or was raised -- where everyone is "aunt, uncle, cousin, etc." whether or not they are blood relation or not.

One reason so many Asian young people who are part of immigrant families in the cities of the U.S. are easily caught up into gangs and large groups of their same race is because the parents are used to the community helping to raise their children. In America people value self-sufficiency, independence and privacy. Many Asian parents feel lost in a world/culture where parents are pretty much on their own in terms of child-rearing. They don't have the collective wisdom and accountability of the village where everyone takes responsibility for how the kids turn out. They expect a community to help watch out for their kids. Gangs can become a terrifying substitute.

And so, in America we look out our windows at kids along the street who are doing things we don't approve of and we comment to our spouse how bad those kids are and we speculate how irresponsible the parents are who are raising them. It's rare to live in a community where that parent will know the parents of those kids and, even if so, will feel comfortable calling those parents to let them know what was seen.

Community truly is a gift. It takes sacrifice and commitment. And in America it is something we do, indeed, need to work to build. It takes incredible love . . . love for ourselves and all those who live around us.

Living in the Moment

2010-05-22T15:21:00.006-04:00

I wish I could just live in the moment. Sitting on my front porch watching the children play, the cars and people pass by . . . wondering where they are going, waving back. Thirsty? Just walk down to the corner shop buy a cold soda . . . just one. Enjoy the conversation with those along the way. Neighbor stops by and we can just sit and chat or maybe walk with them. Feeling hungry, family hungry? Ok, time to make supper.

But life here is not like that. Sitting -- just sitting? I feel like I'll be judged to be lazy. Wondering about those you see go by? that's being nozy. Thirsty? I should check my pantry where I wisely stock up for weeks. Too many trips to the store is a waste of time, money and energy. Neighbors and guests should call ahead. Meals are planned and everything is scheduled.

I've been taught this is good. This is the way of life. To be otherwise is irresponsible and immature. Trained to conform, taught to think ahead. I try hard to fit in: Focus on the point; push toward the destination.

But what about the journey? Come what may . . . I just want to enjoy it . . . experience it. I don't want to miss the beauty of Creation, the realities of humanity, the possibilities on the paths less trodden . . . or the pain of going there. And to breathe deeply in the moment, making the journey what life is all about.

Let me Remember . . .

2010-03-14T15:30:00.001-04:00

Let

remember

beyond forgetting

let

remember

let me remember always

for my spirit is often shrouded in the mists

let me remember beyond forgetting

that my life is not a solitary thing

it is a bit of the rushing tide

a leaf of the bending tree

a kernel of grain the golden wheat fields

a whisper of wind about the mountaintop

a reflection of sunlight upon the shining waters

it is fleeting

it is of the moment

it is timeless

it is of eternity.

-Winston O. Abbott

Cows and their little ones

2010-02-23T21:20:00.003-05:00

Taking time to visit

2010-02-21T21:14:00.006-05:00

I love sitting and chatting with people and I'll do it anywhere I need to go to find someone who might appreciate a visit.

Today I visited a family, albeit under not so happy circumstances, who live in an apartment above their little deli shop. Life is not easy for them, but I was honored to have had the chance to connect with them where "home" happens for them.

I know a principal at one of the city elementary schools who does home visits on the weekends. How special . . . I would love that but I wonder if all families would appreciate that.

There are some cultures that are much more oriented to visiting. Growing up in a very rural area, we dropped in on our neighbors all the time and it was fine. Sunday afternoons we'd often go for a drive and stop in, unannounced, to visit a friend or relative if they happened to be home.

As I got older, I learned new ways of relating. Visiting is sometimes a more formal event. It took me a long time to understand why my in-laws felt they needed to call ahead to the home of their neighbor whose house is less than 100 ft. from their garage door before stopping over to ask a question. Why couldn't they just walk over and ask? Ways of relating and visiting is a cultural thing and depends on the level of privacy expected within the culture.

People hang-out in front of many of the homes along the streets near where I live now. Children play; young people blare their music; and adults sit and talk. The same was true on most of the roads in Cambodia. There, time was less important than building relationships, so sitting and talking was very important. It didn't matter so much what you talked about, just that you took the time.

This happened often in the village where we lived. As I'd meander over to visit a friend, I'd often stop at one of the snack stands to get something for my kids or a soda for me. Inevitably one of the ladies would invite me to sit "first" before I'd continue on. It was the polite thing to do and the primary way information was shared in the village. If I was in a new village, the ladies would want the scoop of who I was and what I was doing there. In my own village they'd ask questions about my landlord and their latest remodeling project . . . how much they spent or if I was helping to pay for it (as if my landlord hadn't told them already). I often got questions about my home country, my salary, my rent, why my children looked different than me, etc.

Americans often had a hard time with all the invasive questions Cambodians would ask in their "visiting" times. Visiting requires skill and some understanding of culture to make it meaningful within the context. But I find great joy in meeting people on their level and in their context.

And that sense of building relationships stirred within me again today as I chatted with a mother and grandmother about their young person. Sharing a little about myself and learning a lot about the other can go a long way in spreading care and encouragement.

I wish I had an inkling

2010-02-20T19:06:00.002-05:00

I wish I had an inkling
of where I am to be
Here or there, East or West
It's hard for me to see.

I wish I had an inkling
of what I am to do
This or that, then or now
It's time for something new.

I wish I had an inkling
of what God plans for next
I try, I wait, I look, I pray
It's really hard to rest.

I wish I felt a calling
A sure sense of purpose
Instead I wander aimlessly
Feeling rather restless.

I wish I had an inkling
Of where I am to be
Place and presence go hand-in-hand
In the Missio Dei

Can we Imagine or are we frozen in time?

2010-02-05T12:07:00.001-05:00

Tom and Christine Sine – Following Jesus in the Shadow of the Empire

What are ways we can help young people prepare for the future – life in the Church and lives of mission

A. Take the future seriously! Don’t be Christians frozen in time . . . in other words stop imagining more of what already is.

B. We need to help kids think creatively to cope with the future/changing times:

Students today are the first generation in America who will not surpass their parents economically.

· Communal living – future increase of mortgages means young people will not be able to own their own homes – need to learn to live together/share resources – creative thinking

· Craig’s list – what resources do we have to share?

· Petrol prices will continue to hike . . . making petro-based fertilizers unaffordable to poor farmers àcreate a food shortage à teach kids to raise vegetables and participate in coops

· Explore new models of communities of simplicity, celebration, sustainability and service.

Students of today and future are technologically addicted/emersed.

· Technology addiction has created a 24/7 connection to workplace – need to teach kids to set limits so they can remain faithful to Scripture, prayer and family

· Media consumption has become media emersion . . . we need to teach the need for and skill at finding sacred places and spaces that are media-free

· Look at the numbers of social networking media that has developed just in the last 6 years – imagine how many more will come about in the next 10 years – how can we use them?

Students are growing-up in a growing multicultural society:

· By 2040 the US will be the first Western nation that is not predominately European

· We need to teach kids how to live in multicultural settings – will raising kids in homogeneous suburbs preparing them for their future?

· We need to help youth see the power of our culture and the message of “cool” that has changed the traditional cultures in other countries – changing the views that youth in those other countries have toward their own traditions and cultures and changing how they live within their cultures

· Can we have American youth help change the standard of “cool” among youth of other cultures? (social networking can be a key tool) – dispelling the power of the message of cool flowing from our culture

· Look at the coming of the “new majority” Church – growing Church in Africa, Latin America and parts of Asia – help youth connect

Students are revealing our nation’s post-Christendom mentality.

· Barna likes to say that US has about 40-50% church attendance vs. 6% in UK and 9% in Australia

· Another study of actual attendance numbers shows that really only about 17.5% of Americans regularly attend church. Some only attend once a month . . . how do we build community in that kind of a context?

· Youth are less and less drawn to the church and remaining in the church after leaving home

· Can we imagine new ways of doing church? Does our Christian education/formation really doing the same job it has for the last century?

· Are our church buildings and traditional activities which have served our previous generations going to be the form of church our youth will connect to?

· Allow youth to imagine and experiment with new expressions of church

Imagining new ways to include young people – Advancing God’s purposes in changing times

· Learning how to raise food/participate in coops

· Teaching how to lead worship at a young age

· Create forums for young people who have new ideas about how to connect the Church globally

· Help youth discover their calling

· Christian education can be preparatory to these ends.

Where is the Church

2010-01-31T21:55:00.002-05:00

Who gets to be out and who gets to be in?
Who makes the decision and who gets to win?

We think we're so faithful
and yet we are proud
We pick up our stones
and throw with the crowd.

Who makes the cut?
Who lives to describe
The grace we extend
or stories we contrive.

But worse, who is stoned
by us who preach love?
Who claims our sin
is accepted above?

We think we are in, we think we'll be first.
But the first shall be last -- so where is the Church?

I got sent to the principal's office!

2009-10-12T21:47:00.005-04:00

Scary to say, I often drive home from work in a kind of numb state, my mind replaying my day over and over until I can put it to rest and refocus on getting home to my family. Tonight was no different, just later than usual. But this time I jolted myself from my numbness when I heard my voice say in the darkness, "I feel like I was sent to the principal's office today!"

What??? Me say that???

I did exactly what I see students do most times they get sent to my office . . . and I occasionally ask them why . . . why do they assume the worst? I see worried looks as they sit in the lobby. I hear their questions, "what did I do? am I in trouble?" They seem to associate the "principal's office" with something bad that must have happened.

I spend a good part of most days calling students to my office. I would love to say that most of the cases are for positive reasons: awards, appreciation, student initiatives, etc. But the truth is, more of the cases I deal with involve the need for restoration: a chance for the student to acknowledge actions or words which damaged the trust and health of the community and then an invitation for him/her to commit to making things right again. More often parents and students refer to this as discipline.

And no matter how good restoration sounds, discipline is painful. But interestingly enough, both discipline and restoration require similar heart attitudes: humility, honesty and courage. Too often, however, when we feel guilt or shame, we can only focus on the feelings of humiliation, violation, anger or distrust. I guess this is normal for our human hearts, but I know, in my head, it is unfortunate. As an administrator I always look to the potential good that can come out of such meetings, but it sure is hard to deal with in myself. Like the students, I can feel sick over having to expose or admit any faults or weakness.

I sure would love to take the rap off of the idea of "going to the principal's office." But I guess I learned tonight that I can't blame the students. Even I subconsciously make a negative connection. And, for the record, lots of good things do happen in principals' offices. So maybe I shouldn't feel so bad after all.

Voices in the Night

2009-10-11T17:05:00.012-04:00

Words that haunt me through the night and hang around me in my waking hours . . . Lord, give me the words to speak and pray for those who ask these questions:

"How can I trust God when He did not save me from the abuse I endured as a child . . . where was He then???"

"Where is God now? I'm crying out for help and guidance and all I'm getting is rejection . . . what would you do if you were in my shoes???"

I remember . . .

Job, whose praise of God's goodness did not depend on his circumstances, rather was measured by God's faithfulness through all generations
Joseph, who chose to believe God's promises would come to fulfillment even during times when God seemed very far away.
Paul, who persevered in thanksgiving and continued in faith even through years of imprisonment and persecution.

Words and images of this song by Matt Redman keep running through my head:

Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in
Lord still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord blessed be Your name

What I discovered in an English classroom . . .

2009-09-22T20:55:00.007-04:00

Most students think that writing means writing down ideas, insights, visions. They feel that they must first have something to say before they can put it down on paper. For them writing is little more than recording a pre-existent thought. But with this approach, true writing is impossible.

Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us. The writing itself reveals what is alive ... the deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know.

- Henri Nouwen

How Foreign Policy can be a catalyst for Peace

2009-07-28T14:04:00.001-04:00

Geopolitical Diary: Closing a Chapter in Southeast Asia

July 22, 2009

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton arrived in Thailand on Wednesday for several days of meetings with the Asian “alphabet soup” organizations – namely, the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) and its security arm, the ASEAN Regional Forum, which includes Russia, India, the European Union and others. The purpose of Clinton’s visit is to trumpet the revival of U.S. involvement in Southeast Asia as part of the Obama administration’s broader push to demonstrate “smart power” — that is, expanding U.S. influence by engaging in a wide range of diplomatic activities in every corner of the globe.

During Clinton’s visit, a bewildering array of multilateral and bilateral talks are slated on topics such as North Korea’s missile and nuclear tests, the July 17 hotel bombings in Jakarta, increasing territorial disputes and naval competitiveness in the South China Sea, and the continued shortage of good news in Myanmar.

One meeting likely to be overlooked will occur on July 23, involving Clinton and ministers from Thailand, Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia. Clinton wants the United States to play a bigger role in the development of these countries, especially in the Mekong River Basin. Primarily, this means giving new attention to two pariah states — Cambodia and Laos. Thailand is an old American ally and has a relatively strong economy, and Vietnam for years has benefited from U.S. investment and consumption, but Cambodia and Laos have lagged behind. Until June, these states were included on a blacklist that prevents the U.S. Export-Import Bank from financing trade with “Marxist-Leninist” regimes.

In June, however, President Barack Obama struck Laos and Cambodia off the blacklist. With the flick of a wrist, the United States has begun to erase the last vestiges of Vietnam-era grudges from its foreign policy, and to close the Southeast Asian chapter of the Cold War. The move came as a total surprise to those who saw Washington’s influence in the region as a static force. Human rights groups cried hypocrisy, and Thailand complained about new competition on the block. But there is little anyone can do when the United States changes its mind.

The incident provides another example of the apparent nonchalance with which the United States chooses strategically to alter its relationships with a particular region, though the alteration may have enormous consequences for the region itself. The Cambodian and Laotian economies will blossom as a result of the decision, which allows them to be absorbed into the U.S.-led global economic system. These two are small fry, but the United States already exports $68 billion worth in goods to ASEAN states — not much less than its exports to China — and these trade ties will grow quickly. In 1995, Washington formally normalized relations with Vietnam — now the United States exports nearly $3 billion in goods a year to Vietnam, and has become Vietnam’s top export market. This did not require the dismantling of the Communist Party of Vietnam; simply put, after the fall of the Soviet Union, the United States no longer saw a threat to contain.

The states in Indochina are only the latest batch of former U.S. enemies that Washington is attempting to bring into the international economic system. Before that, there were the Warsaw Pact countries, China, South Korea, Germany and Japan. Each time the United States extends its hand to one country or region, a potential hornet’s nest of rival regional powers is broken apart. Should a future China be hostile to U.S. interests, for instance, Washington hopes it will not find a Southeast Asia at odds with American interests and with nothing to lose, but rather one that shares interests with Washington and is reluctant to get on its bad side. China, for its part, will be well aware of Clinton’s meeting with the neighbors to the south.

The United States draws power from this ceaseless redefinition of what constitutes its nature, goals, enemies and friends. Other states must react to these redefinitions. It might be difficult to imagine now, but in the future, the United States — with the same equanimity — might normalize relations with the likes of Syria, Cuba, North Korea, Afghanistan or even Iran.

Home of the Living

2009-07-27T20:53:00.007-04:00

Look out over this valley . . . what do you see?

I don't know what it is.
It looks desolate.
It looks like years and years of sad stories.
Why do you lead me here to look?

Look closely. What do you see?

It looks like miles of dead bones . . .
just piles of them.
I don't understand.

I want you to see their sad stories.
I want you to feel their pain.
I want you to speak life into them and revive their hope.

I can't do that, Lord.
They're dead; they're dry;
there is nothing that can be done.

Do as I ask.

Speak to them in whispers.
Remind them of the hope that once was theirs.

Speak to them boldly.
Proclaim to them the Life that still is within their bones.

Shout to them with all your might.
Let them not doubt the power of the Lord to revive them and bring them peace.

Give them this message:

That the Lord who walked with Abraham and Joshua and Joseph and Ezekiel is the same Lord who calls these bones to shake and reform.

It is God who gives life and sustains hope.
It is the "I am" who breathes air into hollow spaces and forms humanity from dust.

I will raise up my people from the dust and build my Church from the Earth.
No more will this valley be mere dry bones.
It will bloom and flood with streams of living water.
It will be called my resting place,
for it will gather those who are thirsty and hungry and those in need of peace.

Prophesy to the bones, whisper my words of hope,
and proclaim the stories of my people.
And this valley will become my resting place, the home of the living.
And all will be drawn to it,
because I have spoken.

Are we too clean?

2009-07-08T19:33:00.007-04:00

I remember when I was a little girl going to visit my grandmother whose house was not so child-friendly. My brothers and I were not allowed to play in the house and we had to be careful not to touch the clean white walls when we climbed the stairs to the bathroom. It's funny, I know my grandmother loved us, but it was clear she did not love the dirt and mess that often comes with kids.

On a personal level, having a family has helped me get over my perfection in that area. I've given up my dream of a clutter-free kitchen and spotless floors. I feel good if I can just get all the laundry folded and put away before I start my next string of loads . . . and some weeks, even that doesn't happen. But when I have people over, do you think I want them to see my toy-strewn rooms? No way! Somehow I think I'm too good for that. I don't want people to see how I really live. I want people to see the perfect me and my perfect house.

I've heard it said that sometimes church can look too perfect. Somehow people look like everything is peaceful, predictable and perfect: perfect families, perfect jobs, perfect homes, etc. . . . in other words, too "clean." A church like that can be very intimidating if a person doesn't feel like his or her life is "clean" enough. Even if those in the congregation are friendly and long to extend love to "outsiders," a perfect image can become an obstacle to those receiving the hospitality.

How does this happen? We certainly wouldn't want to push people away! It comes down to transparency and trust. As we commit ourselves to being in community and learning to trust one another, we can begin to admit our struggles and weaknesses and, in turn, experience healing love. We can learn the beauty and art of depending on one another and receiving just as much as we give. Unfortunately, until then, our lives cannot fully experience freedom in Christ. And until we can live out our freedom in Christ, our lives are not real to those around us. Instead they appear as untouchables, too clean, too perfect, even too vulnerable.

If we as Christians try to maintain an image as those who have it all together, no troubles and a perfect handle on our lives, inadvertently we send subtle signals that those who have struggles may be loved, but their "dirt or life mess" is an inconvenience or doesn't fit in. As we are willing to reveal our own messes and confess our needs, we can experience a release of the Spirit who brings healing through the Body. Our lives become living testimonies to the freedom Christ offers us. Then our churches can be transformed from uncomfortable places of perfection to safe havens of healing.

Return to Cambodia

2009-04-21T14:05:00.007-04:00

How many things have changed in Cambodia! In just four and a half years, lots of new buildings, more paved streets, better sewage trenches, and lots more traffic lights and road signs. The presence of a few food franchises (KFC, Swensen's, The Pizza Company) packed with Cambodians is a marker of a growing middle class. More people wear helmets on their motorbikes and prices for moto taxis have gone up. But even with the increased costs of living, some of the poorer class are starting to make improvements to their homes and living conditions. This is good news!

Some things still have not changed. A large percentage of people still live in poverty, rickety bamboo "homes" straddling rivers that are huge sewage routes. Children, though perhaps less than before, still beg or sell trinkets for money around the parks and markets and on the beaches instead of attend school. And homeless people are exploited and kicked far out of the city by the government, an "out of sight, out of mind" effort to "clean up the city." Tons of moped-type motorbikes weave in and out of the increasing number of cars and SUV's on the crowded streets making traffic more treacherous than ever. Heat and dust in the dry/hot season is balanced only by the abundance of wonderful sweet, yellow, ripe mangoes. Added to that is Khmer New Year, just passed, when Cambodians still love to return to their "homelands" in the provinces where the lack of running water and electric seems to never hinder the dancing and parties and cherished family time.

Overall a wonderful time of reunion and chance to see the ways that investing into people's lives brings meaning to life and multiplies the Love and Life that Christ and our faith gives us.

An Email from a Relative:

2009-02-07T15:21:00.006-05:00

I got this forwarded email from a relative who claims to be a Christian. I usually just delete them immediately, yet something begged me to take a chance and read it. I knew it would make me want to respond, yet I knew I had better not. So I recorded my response here and am still mulling over in my mind if my silence is really condoning such attitudes:

A Boss Who Tells it Like it Is..... (an awful lot of truth)

To All My Valued Employees,

There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job. As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country.

However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.

First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a back story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You've seen my big home at last years Christmas party. I'm sure; all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life.

However, what you don't see is the back story.

I started this company 28 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot studio apartment for 3 years. My entire living apartment was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you.

My diet consisted of Ramen Pride noodles because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didn't have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.

Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50K a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting the Nordstrom's for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the discount store extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 70's. My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.

So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5pm, I don't. There is no "off" button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a 1 year old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden -- the nice house, the Mercedes, the vacations... you never realize the back story and the sacrifices I've made.

Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn't. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for.

Yes, business ownership has is benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds.

Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why:

I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough. I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers compensation taxes. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a tax man to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a check to the US Treasury for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" check was? Zero. Nada. Zilch.

The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check? Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country.

The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you? That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy.

Here is what many of you don't understand ... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had suddenly government mandated to me that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Washington black-hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.

When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don't defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? Or, do you defibrillate his heart? Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the poor of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep.

So where am I going with all this?

It's quite simple.

If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I fire you. I fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV, and your child's future. Frankly, it isn't my problem any more.

Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire. You see, I'm done. I'm done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, will be my citizenship.

So, if you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steam rolled the constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about.. ..

Signed,
Your boss

My "response:"

I find the attitude of this writer arrogant and think he is totally missing the point of what makes life important. This writing makes it sound like what makes life important is how hard you work and how far up the ladder you climb. While I respect people who have worked hard all their lives, I do not believe it gives them the right to look down on those who have not accomplished the same successes.

I do not measure success in life by how much I accomplish, rather what kind of person I am and how I treat other people. While this person sounds like he cares about this country and the people he has been able to hire over the years, in the end, his motives are exposed. His hidden message is what matters is not the people – really – it is the bottom line. Part of his bottom line is that, when the government doesn’t do business like he thinks they should do business, he throws the towel in. He labels a government good or bad based on who they care about. If it is not him, they are reckless or misled. Don’t be fooled by his “worries” for the employees. His words are telling. He is not really worried . . . for he has accumulated enough luxury to live the rest of his days on. And based on this writing, it seems that is all that is important.

I think the real problem with the world is not how poor or rich people are, rather how willing/not willing we are to live in cooperation with our neighbors across the street and around the world. This man prides himself in the fact that all his life he was busy, busy, busy, sacrificing all for his business. His goals? Good old American independence and self-sufficiency. That’s what this country was built on and aren’t we proud! Some American Christians nearly equate these values with godliness.

Well, I’ve always been taught that pride comes before a fall. My faith has taught me that how we love and sacrifice for our NEIGHBOR – not worrying about ourselves – is what makes life valuable. I value interdependence and interconnectedness that is willing to sacrifice for the betterment of those AROUND me, not looking at people as ABOVE or BELOW me on a ladder of false promises.

I admit, mine is a different view on life than this man’s and a very different view on the world. For while I have certainly benefited from it, I don’t put my trust in the market economy. While free-enterprise is part of the back-bone of our market system, I don’t judge my freedoms based solely on what the government allows or doesn’t. While I have enjoyed the security offered by my U.S. passport, my safety is ultimately not based on military might, how nice my neighborhood is, or how much money I have in the bank. I could live in a democracy, within socialism, under a dictator or respecting a monarch. My government could take everything from me, yet it would not change my right to happiness or ability to find success in life. For my success is not based on what I can do or not do, rather who I am and how I treat others around me. I have seen friendships and relationships sustain humans through a host of difficulties and suffering. Where the global economic structures could do nothing, the hands and hearts of neighbors could.

So, ask me? If I’m going to brag about what I’ve been busy, busy, busy doing all my life? It will certainly not be about the money I’ve saved or invested, nor the luxury I expect from all that hard work. It’s going to be about the people I’ve come to know through sharing life together and working to bring peace to a world torn apart by greed and hate. For, ultimately, it is love that is possible through following Christ that is going to make the world a better place.

Biblical Interpretations of Time

2009-02-05T14:05:00.009-05:00

I was doing some reading lately on the following topics:

Biblical Interpretation and how it applies to the Creation account

10 majory differences between Calendar-day creationists and Day-age Creationists

I thought back to my first semester of science at my Christian liberal-arts college -- zoology. I remember clearly my professor cautioning us in our studies. Most of us in that class were also training to be teachers. He said that too often Christians, in their pursuit of literal interpretations of the Bible often stumble and misrepresent the intentions of science. He believed, they also end up, in many cases, misrepresenting the intentions of the writers and even that of God as we see the story unfold from Genesis to Revelation.

I remember my professor saying that in our zeal to keep science and faith separate, we end up putting God in a box. We make irresponsible claims about how God did the things we see in the Bible and even go further to speculate why He did them. Some do this with such an assurance, that they completely eliminate both the reality and the necessity for the Mystery of God. That semester I barely kept up with my zoological studies, but I did begin four years of a healthy look at my views of Biblical accounts and how it impacted my faith.

In that first class, however, we were about to enter a study that, in part, not only looks at the types of animals that exist on the Earth, but also their morphological characteristics and relationships to one another. Inevitably there would be some chapters dedicated to ontology, how things began or were created or evolved. That was one place our professor expected some debate and conversation. He encouraged us to trust science, for it is measurable and observable. But it is not the end-all in truth. He also encouraged us to think outside the box, for that is how God works -- outside the box of our human understanding and reason.

For example, what about the possibilities that each day of Creation was not a 24-hour block of time . . . what if each day started with God speaking into existence another aspect of the Creation, but the fulfillment of it, or the maturation of it took "time" like many years? Does not the Bible teach that our sense of time and God's sense of time are not the same? Or what about the possibility that God created an old Earth right from the start? In both of these examples, the age of the Earth could be much older, as the scientific method has measured. And the changes that have been measured or theorized based on observable data and extrapolated data by science may have happened, if not in "real time" (longer than 24 hours), at least in the instant it took for God to speak the word that brought Creation into being.

Through this whole discussion I kept coming back to the mystery of God. My professor's main caution, as I have written about before, was that we never use the Bible as our science textbook. The Bible teaches us WHO did WHAT and may give some clues as to WHY, but it does not explain HOW. He said that anytime we try to use the Bible to teach how God did anything, we are walking on thin ice. For that usually requires a literal interpretation of what we read and it is considered impossible to remain consistent in that approach. And most tragic, it seeks to remove the mystery of God that makes Him God. When we claim we know exactly how God did anything, we are mistakingly elevating ourselves to diety-level.

While the new theories related to the Creation were certainly interesting for me to consider, I soon realized they were not discussable in typical groups of Christians. Neither were the theories of evolution or Big Bang. Immediately I would get looks of suspicion or even the "knowing" looks by those who were convinced I had traded my salvation in for the wiles of education and knowledge (more likely considered heresy). I wondered why scientists couldn't ask these questions? And more importantly, why weren't Christians willing to engage these questions or ideas.

I added my theories of Creation to a long list of views related to other ethical challenges in the science field, as well as those debated within Christian apologetics classes. This argument over how God created has dramatic implications on how we test our faith views on a whole host of topics: studies of reletivity, cosmic activity, scientific tests on animals, global warming, abortion, capital punishment, war, stem-cell research . . .

I found an account of this remarkable interview with Willian Jennings Bryan (1860-1925). He was born in Salem, Illinois and became a lawyer and later a congressman in Nebraska. He was a devout Christian but was also a philosopher, writer and famous speaker. At the 1896 Democratic convention, he mesmerized delegates with his famous "Cross of Gold" speech and ended up the party's presidential nominee three times, though did not win the elections. He served as Sec. of State under Woodrow Wilson. Bryan spent his later years campaigning for prohibition and against the teaching of evolution. Though he stood against evolution, he was not a literal Creationist. He was a known proponent of the day-age theory of creation.

In 1925, Bryan served as prosecutor in the infamous "monkey trial" of John Scopes, a Tennessee teacher arrested for teaching evolution. Yet I find his testimony interesting in how he frames his understanding of how God created the world. I wonder what most Christians would have to say about this:

Clarence Darrow (the ACLU lawyer) [D]: ‘Mr Bryan, could you tell me how old the Earth is?’

Bryan [B]: ‘No, sir, I couldn’t.’

[D]: ‘Could you come anywhere near it?’

[B]: ‘I wouldn’t attempt to. I could possibly come as near as the scientists do, but I had rather be more accurate before I give a guess.’

[D]: ‘Does the statement, “The morning and the evening were the first day,” and “The morning and the evening were the second day,” mean anything to you?’

[B]: ‘I do not think it necessarily means a twenty-four-hour day.’

[D]: ‘You do not?’

[B]: ‘No.’

[D]: 'Then, when the Bible said, for instance, "and God called the firmament heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day," that does not necessarily mean twenty-four-hours?’

[B]: ‘I do not think it necessarily does.’ ‘I think it would be just as easy for the kind of God we believe in to make the Earth in six days as in six years or in six million years or in 600 million years. I do not think it important whether we believe one or the other.’

[D]: ‘And they had the evening and the morning before that time for three days or three periods. All right, that settles it. Now, if you call those periods, they may have been a very long time.’

[B]: ‘They might have been.’

[D]: ‘The creation might have been going on for a very long time?’

[B]: ‘It might have continued for millions of years.’

Source: The World’s Most Famous Court Trial, Second Reprint Edition, Bryan College, Dayton, pp. 296, 302–303, 1990.

Happy Snow Days!!!

2009-01-28T21:05:00.003-05:00

I think I was outside all but about 3 hours from 7 am till 4:30 today - mostly shoveling and catching up with neighbors who were shoveling. The snow was wet and heavy. I don't think I'll be able to get out of bed in the morning, but somehow time like that I always feel is well spent. The kids and I did enjoy some sledding and building a snowman this afternoon. So nice to have snow days when you don't have to go anywhere!

The Hands and Feet of Jesus in the face of Injustice

2009-01-28T12:58:00.005-05:00

Again I ask, "how long, Lord!" How long can the injustices of oppression and exploitation continue!!! Our friend Kristen Jack and his family witnessed this on Saturday in the slums where they work and live in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. We saw the beginnings of similar behavior by the government in 2003 and 2004 before our return to the US. Shameless acts of barbarism still happen and go unchecked because of corruption, greed and tyranny. Voices cry out for justice at great risk.

This was sent out today in the most recent InfoFlow from the International Church in Phnom Penh. May the Lord bless the efforts of Christians in the the ways they reach out to this forgotten people.

Opportunity to Contribute towards the Evicted Poor of Dey Kraham, at ICF Services this Sunday

Cambodian security forces and demolition workers forcibly evicted 152 families from Dey Kraham community (a slum on the edge of the city) in the early hours of 24 January 2009, leaving the vast majority of them homeless. Some of the families were not able to retrieve belongings from their homes before the demolition. Officials from Phnom Penh municipality were present during the destruction. The Phnom Penh municipality has provided less than 30 of the 152 families with shelter (at best this means a bamboo platform with a blue tarp over it) at a designated resettlement site some 16 kilometers from the city centre. Most of the structures at the site are incomplete, and there is no clean water, no electricity, sewage or basic services. Earlier, most of the affected community rejected being resettled there because it was too far from Phnom Penh, where they work, mostly as street vendors.

This Sunday, at each ICF Sunday Service, there will be two ways that you can be the hands and feet of Jesus towards the Dey Kraham Evictees:

Before each service, bring clothing items, new and used (for babies, children, and adults), and drop them off downstairs at the designated drop off spot.
During each service Contribute in a special offering that will be received. The offering will be used to purchase food and other urgent items.

Sacredness - part 3

2009-01-28T02:17:00.000-05:00

In my contemplation about the sacred, I've really come to the conclusion that what connects all this is the mystery of our faith. But I see two main obstacles to our acceptance of mystery:

First of all, we need to teach our consciousness to submit to the reality of mystery. Sounds like an oxymoron, but I think it takes practice. And I believe that means we need to disarm our reason. I do not mean we disengage our reason or deny it. We need to allow our reason to observe and learn from our experience of mystery. But we cannot allow it to guard us or prevent us from full participation in the mysteriousness of our life and faith by raising cynicism or doubt.

Secondly, I think we need to not be afraid when mystery confronts us as a spiritual reality beyond our consciousness. For truly, the ordinary really is sacred beyond our comprehension. (Though I still wonder if and how there things that are more sacred than others?) But I think that true faith is in God and His work through his Creation, thus the mysterious connection between the physical realities and spiritual ones should not be so scary.

I also think there must be a mysterious sacredness to the words that we speak whether it be in our liturgy or prayers in this time and with the saints. There is definitely a mysterious connection between the things that we do both in worship and incarnating Christ in everyday life that makes all of life sacred to a certain degree, though I can't say what that degree is. And as for sacred places where we stand, places of worship and places of human experience, all I can say for sure is that there are clear examples in the Bible that there were holy places of God's presence where God's people could not stand. Yet Jesus showed us that, essentially, there were no places he could not go because they were not sacred enough. Even the home of a tax collector was holy ground for the Incarnation of God.

Mystery, by its very definition, transports us to a realm beyond our consciousness or understanding. I think that for us to name something as sacred means that we hold that place or thing in higher esteem, perhaps, but we don't always really know why. It is too tempting, however, to merely pass of our determinations of sacredness as only being human constructs or psychological pacifiers or supports. There is a spiritual element to it, thus there is mystery and ultimately, faith. There must be. Faith beyond ourselves and human experience. Faith for what can happen beyond our comprehension. Faith for even the impossible. This is mystery.

Mennonites are not completely unable to embrace mystery. There are a few Quakerish aspects to our worship, traditionally. We acknowledge the influence of the Spirit in our worship. We also embrace a communal hermaneutic. We believe the Spirit does speak through the human gatherings of the Body. This is mysterious, yet tested. And, as has been mentioned in our gatherings, an indicator of this is the unity that can result as discernment takes place. This is truly mysterious and beautiful and hopeful.

I think we could grow in the area of embracing the mystery of liturgy and sacred space. This is what started my ruminations on it all. There are words of our faith passed down through generations that we embrace faithfully in some contexts but not others. There are times of Church history we look to more quickly than others too in comparing them to our present day worship. We provide sacred space sometimes but not others. We give time and place for funerals and even recite vows for weddings and baptisms, but what about other functions of worship and Body life? What about for healing or restoration of those trapped in addictions? What do we believe about Communion? Do we understand what we are saying in the liturgy?

And I think Mennonites, who historically have worked on the forefront of social justice issues, showing that the physical is as much as important as the spiritual, still struggle a bit with how that can happen in gathered worship. Four-part harmony and sharing time are key elements, but they don't transport us to the area of mystery where only God understands our awe and reverence. We decorate for birthdays and anniversaries and other occasions that celebrate the life of God's Creation, yet worry that our weekly celebration in corporate worship to God Himself might get too distracting or frivilous if we "decorate." Will our sanctuaries ever be sacred places or are they still just meeting houses. I wonder.

Do we need sacred spaces and places and things? If so, how can we allow the mystery of such enrich our worship and daily living?

Sacred Places - part 2

2009-01-28T00:07:00.000-05:00

As I continue to consider sacred places, I recall a conversation with one of my pastors a couple years ago about the church building and how it is available to the community. We were discussing whether or not it is appropriate that we lock our church. Shouldn't a church be a place of sanctuary, open to anyone as needed? As I think about times I visited various cathedrals and even Buddhist temples in Asia, there were many cases where the buildings were unlocked all the time or at least during the day for anyone who may want to enter for prayer or worship or quiet time. Are these places sacred spaces? And if so, what makes them sacred?

It seems like a building plan has been part of conversations at my church for many years, as have security issues with our current building. Maybe we subscribe to the idea that a church has some amount of intrinsic sacredness about it, but we also realize that in our post-Christendom society, that sacredness is not as acknowledged as it once was. In the conversation with my pastor, we threw around the idea of a prayer room on the side of a new building that could include some worship elements and be open to the outside while the rest of the building could be secured. I wondered how the room would be used. Would it be respected? Would there be a sacredness about it? And how does that happen?

This leads into my consideration of sacred tangibles. I've also been pondering some images I've seen in the last 5-10 years:

a stone jar of water where people stop to dip their hands as they enter to worship
wisps of incense lingering over a book that holds the Scriptures
a candle lit before prayer
scented oil dabbed on the forehead of a parishioner
a string of stones held close as prayers are recounted
a room that holds icons, a Cross, an open Bible
wine and bread on the altar

Are these things sacred? Could it be that the water is holy, the book itself is worthy of a kiss, the incense really reaches to God, the flames of the candles release prayers, the oil has healing powers as does the icons of saints, the stones of a Rosary are channels for prayers, a room is a vehicle in which we can meet God, and the wine and bread are the actual blood and body of Christ?

I wonder.

Even though I have had plenty of experience in liturgical churches in my family's church background, strangely, I was raised to doubt the sincerity in the worship practices of those denominations. And as I began to understand what it meant to be Mennonite, I was taught not only to mistrust the sincerity, but actually to condemn most of liturgical practice as idolatry.

Sadly, I was taught that the repetitious liturgy recited or read from prayer books each week were empty words. Cathedrals were full of idols and the parishioners really didn't know the Risen Christ.

My Mennonite upbringing taught me that churches should not be cathedrals. They are merely meetinghouses where the congregation gathers each week. This emphasis was extremely enriching to me as I began to formulate my theology of the Body of Christ. But in many ways, as I later realized, it forsook many of the gifts of the Body and the acknowledgment of how humans learn.

The issue was with the tangibles -- those things we touch and experience with our five senses. The Mennonite Church gradually began allowing the use of symbols or decor in homes, but somehow portrayed it as sacrilegious if used in the church building. There was very little room for the artistic and educational richness in symbols. Everything was pragmatic and concrete. A basin and towel was just that, a basin and towel used to wash feet. They were merely instruments to teach humility. Grape juice and bread -- just food. The elements themselves were not sacred, rather one's obedience in partaking them in the context of the congregation was important.

I'm not sure what people were taught in relation to the Holy Scriptures. I have met people who see their Bible as a sacred part of their life, and, for example, would never think of allowing it to even lay on the floor. They may keep it lying on a table in a special place in their room. Others I know use the Bible more as a reference book. They may have several in their homes in different translations and sizes. While the Scripture may be sacred to them, the book itself is not so much. Are our Bibles sacred? And if so, what does that mean or how should that impact how we treat them?

I recently sat with a deeply spiritual woman dying of leukemia. There were candles lit in her room and a faint smell of incense in the air. She had icons hanging on her door and IV bottles. Her relatives brought her a very special oil and Rosary with very holy stones from the Jordan river in the Middle East. These tangibles brought the woman peace and assurance. She knew she would be healed; there was no question. And so far she is doing well.

When I spoke to Mennonites about how to encourage her to have peace and assurance, they used language like, "she certainly has a strong faith." "We can pray for her to have peace and assurance." "We can only hope that her trust in these things will help her." I detected little to no acknowledgment that the tangibles held any sacredness in and of themselves. It was as if healing centered on faith alone and the physical presence of particular things in the room were irrelevant.

Yet I wonder.

And other images flash through my mind:

a burning bush around which was said to be holy ground
a wooden rod that sprouted
a man struck dead after touching the Ark of the Covenant
the cloak of a prophet passed on
a fish that carried a missionary
the river where a leper was cleansed
mud on the eyes of a blind man
a sick woman touching Jesus' cloak

There are many others that could be listed. But I'm thinking about how the ordinary somehow becomes sacred and how that affects us both physically and spiritually. How does this happen? Are they merely human constructs? Or are there truly holy places and spaces and things? When do physical realities become sacred?

And perhaps a more important question is, what about our spirituality or faith do we miss out on when we fail to recognize the spiritual realities in the physical?

Sacred Places - part 1

2009-01-27T13:02:00.008-05:00

I have been pondering various aspects of sacred places, sacred spaces and sacred things. I have many thoughts I want to record as I consider how "sacredness" fits into my experience and theology. This past week I was considering what kind of places have been sacred to me and why.

I was digging through a closet at church the other day. . . candles, matches, various candle holders, centerpieces for the altar, fabrics . . . lots of "stuff" that can look so ordinary, yet take on a kind of holy purpose on a Sunday morning. I don't know what it was, maybe the look of the lines of white candles or the concentrated smell of such items that suddenly transported me back about thirty years to my childhood.

I was about eight or nine years old, standing in a back room off the front of the sanctuary at the United Methodist church where I was baptized and first became a member. The room was mostly empty. A closet held some vestments and the counter before which I stood held a few red Bibles and covered a cabinet with lots of candles, doilies and green and red silk drapes for the altar and pulpit areas. I was putting on a white gown and reviewing in my mind how to operate the long, well-used, brass-colored lighter I was holding for the candles at the front of the sanctuary. I was an accolade, a role I don't think I ever fully understood and had forgotten about until just the other day.

Even though I did not understand the reasons we had such roles and decor in the church, I still held a certain sense of sacredness for that place: the sanctuary with its pews; the Cross at the front with red light streaming in around it from the stained glass on either side; the railing across the front of the "stage area" behind which steps continued upward to two pulpits, one on either side; and then pews behind the right pulpit for the various participants in the service and the organ and piano behind the pulpit on the left. I stood up there many times as a child for recitations, song leading, plays/programs, and even when I first responded to an altar call as a very young child during a week of evangelistic services.

I loved that place both when it was full of people but also when it was empty. Something about it felt sacred in the quietness after everyone left. Solitude is sacred to me. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe because it provides space to sit and think and reflect. I can clear my mind of all the junk that accumulates in the course of human contact--regretful words, hurt, confusion, busy-ness. In the quiet I can just think and pray.

As both a student and teacher, I always cherished the solitude after school walking through darkened rooms and halls after students and teachers had mostly left. As a child, I spent hours sitting by myself outside where the trees and fields and stars and clouds became my sanctuary. I also loved the solitude of the church building after most people had left or when I accompanied my mother there during the week to work on children's ministry stuff. I explored every corner of it, always stopping to stand in awe of the large painting of Jesus praying over Jerusalem or looking into the sanctuary from the doors, or singing and praying from the piano at the front. It was a time of renewal and peace for me. There was something holy about those places and times.

I've been thinking about sacred space and places and things lately. I wonder what makes places and tangibles sacred? Is there really such a thing? Is it just a psychological thing or is it spiritual as well?

Maybe it's because I'm getting older, but something about humanity itself has taken on more of a sacredness to me in recent years. As I drove home from church on Sunday, I was aware of the people in every car I passed. I wondered about what they were doing and what they were thinking about. There was an awe that came over me of God's incredible love for all of them and how I so much wanted them to feel and live in that love.

I realized that, contrary to what I always thought, it may not just be the solitude of places that has made them sacred to me. I think the fact that people, God's creation inhabits there has something to do with it too. And when God's Creation leaves, a sacred presence remains. God's presence in all that was there is still there and makes that place holy. The words that had been spoken, the sounds, the human silliness, the chattering of birds in the trees, the reverence, the worship, the learning, the cooperation, the love . . . all that happens, be it in the fields, in a school or in a church sanctuary somehow remains there for God to wash over and cleanse and sanctify. I can't explain it adequately, but there seems to be something holy about that. And I have found that being in those places nourishes my soul. I can feel God's incredible love for His Creation, His delight in communion with His Creation and His desire for reconcilliation with all of Creation.

I'm not sure how this relates to all my other reflections on sacredness, but maybe after I organize my thoughts in writing, I'll get a better sense of how it all fits.

Can't help but love the new "First Family?"

2009-01-23T10:14:00.015-05:00

I've been trying to decide how I should frame this post since Tuesday. I am so full of excitement, admiration and love for this new "First Family." I don't know that I ever sat in front of the TV for so long before (well as much as I could between interruptions by children) just wanting to drink deeply from the moment: people's reactions and feelings, the visuals of the various participants, the places and their significance for this country . . .

I started a running list of the reasons I feel such respect and admiration for President Obama and his family.

1. I love the fact that they are a young family trying to raise their daughters to be respectful and responsible. Of course many comment on how adorable the girls were on Tuesday!

2. I enjoy Michelle Obama's efforts to shorten the pedestal on which people have placed them by pointing out the ways they are ordinary -- or rather what Americans like to see as ordinary: a devoted family, a fun-loving couple and committed, hard-working citizens.

3. I admire Barak Obama's consistent efforts to remain respectful, even when he disagrees. It was clear that Vice President Joe Biden's jab yesterday at Chief Justice Robert for stumbling during the presidential oath did not please Obama.

4. I appreciate Obama's intentionality toward inclusion. He reportedly mentioned to GW Bush that he may be calling President Bush for advice in the coming days/months . . . interestingly, however, Bush's response made it clear that no, Obama would not need his advice and should depend on the advisors of his own administration now. Even so, I appreciate Obama's desire to find the good in people, and maintain relationships, even those with whom he so starkly contrasts.

5. I am energized by President Obama's global view through both his upbringing and acceptance of diversity. He knows how to capitalize on the diverse views, cultures, languages and backgrounds that make up the American people and their neighbors around the world. He is certainly not an Isolationist, rather has the courage to engage the issues and see the value in diverse perspectives.

6. As a result of #5 I feel comfortable and confident in President Obama's approach to international diplomacy. We might not come off looking like a superpower "over" others as much . . . but that is fine with me. I do trust, however, that we, as America under Obama's leadership, will exhibit respectful power to work "with" others in the international community, and for that I am so relieved.

7. I'm understanding more why people keep commenting on the "generational shift" that has occurred. Obama understands the mind-set of the generation above him, but also that of the younger generations. A few funny indicators I've thought about include technology. Like many in and around my generation who are so inclined and can afford to do so, he depends on his BlackBerry (I guess not anymore due to security reasons). Also, his campaign wisely utilized Facebook and blogging to connect to those even younger.

8. He is both self-aware and worldly aware so can connect across age, culture, but also economic barriers. His humble upbringing along side his experience living and working in Chicago stand in sharp contrast to his elite education. Yet all of that gives him extremely unique abilities to relate to people of all walks of life.

9. I loved the inaugural ceremony on Tuesday. The language was gracious and the spirit was uplifting.

"We are so grateful to live in this land, a land of unequaled possibility, where the son of an African immigrant can rise to the highest level of our leadership. And we know today that Dr. King and a great cloud of witnesses are shouting in heaven . . . When we focus on ourselves, when we fight each other, when we forget you, forgive us. When we presume that our greatness and our prosperity is ours alone, forgive us. When we fail to treat our fellow human beings and all the earth with the respect that they deserve, forgive us."

(words from the Invocation by Pastor Rick Warren)

"On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics. We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things . . . And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity . . . For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness . . . We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth . . . This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny . . . and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

(excerpts from President Obama's speech)

"What if the mightiest word is love?"

(Praise Song for the Day, poem written and recited by Elizabeth Alexander)

"And now, Lord, in the complex arena of human relations, help us to make choices on the side of love, not hate; on the side of inclusion, not exclusion; tolerance, not intolerance . . . With your hands of power and your heart of love, help us then, now, Lord, to work for that day when nations shall not lift up sword against nation, when tanks will be beaten into tractors, when every man and every woman shall sit under his or her own vine and fig tree and none shall be afraid, when justice will roll down like waters and righteousness as a mighty stream."

(excerpts from the Benediction by Rev. Joseph Lowery)

10. Finally, I can't help but smile to see that President Obama is left-handed. Actually, he joins 5 other presidents in this trait since WWII. Even though left-handedness has not always been accepted, I've always had this secret belief that left-handers are blessed in that they potentially can utilize more of their brains. Language is a left-brain function, but in lefties, it develops in both halves which, most researchers say, are more symmetrical in lefties. And Obama's left-handedness is a bit telling of his age, for my mother, a generation ahead of him, was a left-hander until she was severely disciplined in school penmanship classes, after which she had to re-train to being right-handed. What subtle freedoms we can enjoy these days! :-)

And so, back to Tuesday . . .

Tuesday was a cold day -- one on which many courageous people braved the temperatures to stand in that place, to experience what it is like to not just view history, but feel it and be a part of it. That evening, however, I was reminded that history is always remembered from the perspective of the writer. I was sitting in a Pep Boys Auto Store for 2 hours because the cold temperatures killed my mom's car battery. As I waited, I watched the newscasts recount the day. The father of a family sitting next to me also watched the reports. He shook his head a number of time disapprovingly and at one point said under his breath, "It's scarey!" I could not read his mind to know exactly what scared him. But his demeanor made it clear that he could not see nor feel the joy and hope that day brought, only the fear he had been told to hold for too long.

I could hardly contain myself, but I don't always have the courage to engage diverse viewpoints. I wanted to say, "there are many reasons this new 'first family,' has restored hope and faith and courage in me and in much of this country. Don't allow cynicism or fear to blind you!" At some point, we all need to make the choices between despair or joy, fear or faith, hate or love. For too long I was tempted with the former. Now is the time to take heart and live out the latter, what we know brings life and shines hope.

Who is my family?

2008-12-23T13:47:00.010-05:00

Fractured Families

Written by Graham Chipps, Pastor
International Christian Fellowship, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
(Some details seriously distorted to protect the more sensitive!)

Our family has family gatherings when we can. Even if my brother or sister, or my mother, or my son or daughter host the occasion in a way that is not my preferred style, I'll still join in most willingly. If they serve chicken when I'd much rather fish, I'm still there. If the background music is contrary to my mood, it doesn't matter. If one or other says stuff that I don't agree with or is personally uncomfortable, nothing will keep me away. And even if one of them brings a pretty unpleasant friend, it is not an issue, I'll stay till the end.

And when that weird uncle/aunt/niece/nephew starts talking too loudly, so what? They probably think I'm weird - so we're even!

If there are dirty plates piled up in the sink or on the floor, cat's fur on the chairs, dead indoor plants, people with body piercing or three piece suits, some who smoke without consideration of others, or vote for all those idiot politicians in that other party, or that freaky cousin who hands out fundamentalist tracts, or that retired health official who insists on wearing Che Guevara t-shirts, or the maiden aunt with a video camera fixation that she uses as a weapon of mass embarrassment, or even if they only serve de-caf, I will still be there.

None of this matters one bit. I'm locked in and even if everyone is a bit strange except me, I'll keep on making sure I get to be with them. I refuse to head off to the family market to buy into another one for a while in the hopes it suits me better for where I'm at right now.

They are family.

The ties of the Holy Spirit in the family of God as it gathers week-by-week are even stronger than the blood ties that we take so seriously. Church is where I go to be with my family. And like my other family, it has all the stuff of human weirdness! It has all the usual variety of people, culture, different tastes, disappointments, warmth, and joy. I don't go for the music, the conversation, the things I might learn, the pleasure I might experience. I go because they are family -- and that is enough.

God is present in my family. I see His miracle of grace in the face of each one. (which is one of the reasons I hate sitting looking at the back of the neck of the person in front as we sit in rows like machines). I am lifted up by how the ordinariness of human faith and ability is secondary to the extraordinary willingness of God to love such a bunch of people as we are! The more we want church to do different things really well, the more we easily miss out on seeing that God's grace is sufficient in human weakness.

Church as family (not programme or performance or ability) is the best place to see the vision of all that God's love and grace can bring.

Our Two-Year Old's Christmas Story

2008-12-15T12:26:00.009-05:00

Entering the Christmas season with a two year old in America has been interesting and fun. We didn't really have a "Christmas experience" with our first two until they were ages 3 and 4. And that year we were still dealing with language and cultural readjustment issues as a family. A two-year old is just developing her language, so it is always a surprise to find out, "yes, she really does understand that!"

We put up our Christmas tree the other night. I handed our older two children their shoe boxes from the storage space and they ran with anticipation to the table to review its contents. These boxes contain ornaments from many different decades. Most of the ornaments are ones the children made in pre-school, kindergarten or first grade. They loved looking at each one and commenting on what they could remember about them or commenting on their little pictures on some of them. There are also ornaments which were from my childhood and the children ask about who gave them to us. My mother added some of her ornaments to our tree this year. Some have pictures of me and my brothers. Others are just fun ornaments which have weathered decades of Christmas trees. A couple belonged to my brother who died years ago and our children have always found that story worth reviewing. Each ornament represents a story or a person.

So the ornaments and their stories began finding places all over the tree. We don't really "decorate" the tree, I guess. It basically ends up being a place for all these little stories to hang for a month while we review them in our minds and enjoy the lights. The children did a much better job this year spreading them out . . . less clumps and more thought about what ornaments they wanted where.

One important consideration was our two-year old! Of course any of the ornaments that came out of the boxes carefully wrapped in newspaper were destined for the top of the tree. I didn't have to spend much time explaining why. Our little one immediately started pulling on the lights and wanting to examine each item. She was persistent in babbling on about each one. We allowed her to put a few of the "safe" ornaments on the tree: the soft stuffed ones, the wooden ones and a few of the hand made clothes pin types or plaster-types. Then we started the process of looking at each one, making comments and finally, making it clear if she was allowed to touch it or not. She got that down pretty quickly.

Beside our tree we set our "holy family." This year's nativity story has been another persistent conversation with our two-year old. She is at the stage where "mommy, daddy and baby" are the main characters in any picture she notices, whether it be of people, animals or even toys. Since Advent and Christmas are all around us now, she talks about "baby Jesus, mommy Mary and daddy Joseph" all the time. She can't bear to see a baby without its mommy, and if there is one, whom she perceives fits the role of "daddy," she insists it must sit next to the mommy. I find this intense order of relationships fascinating in such a young child. I suppose it is a security thing at that age??? There seems to be safety and comfort in that picture for her.

Well, it happened yesterday. We no sooner walked in the door from church and she marched over to the tree and started exclaiming about one of the ornaments. One ornament she can touch is a stuffed "mommy" gingerbread. She had suddenly spied a "daddy" version which was up high towards the back of the tree. The case was clear -- no choices in the matter -- the "daddy" had to be relocated down on the other side of the tree so he could sit beside the mommy.

So this year's Christmas message from our two-year old's perspective is about family. There is a "complete" picture of family and a "broken" picture of family that needs to be fixed. As I think about it, in some ways Jesus was born out of wed-lock, a sign of brokenness. I wonder if this incomplete picture of "family" is disturbing to other young children, whether they can express it or not. What a blessing that Joseph was willing to step into that picture and be the "daddy" figure for baby Jesus . . . be the daddy that stands next to the mommy to partner in the task of parenting.

We all need people to surround us as parents, and even more so for those who are parenting on their own!!! What a gift it can be to have others who are willing to step in to support the efforts of parents and share their love and comfort with the children. I can't help but think of all the broken families we know and how many of those children need the security of a "mommy" or "daddy" figure in their lives. I also know people who have found ways to fill in those gaps in society, maybe not exactly in the way Joseph did, but nontheless in meaningful ways that help to bring a sense of security and safety to children: foster care, supporting single parents and their children, mentoring a young person, adoption . . . I have learned in a more real way just how children need the security and love in their home and how caretaker roles can take many forms. I have also heard countless stories in which people indicated a special person who "was like a dad" to them. Or I have heard people refer to someone as a "spiritual mother" or an "adopted grandparent." These roles are so ingrained into our human fiber that without them, we feel incomplete and in need of security.

Jesus entered a picture of brokenness and out of that brought completeness to our broken pictures and those of the people around us. We never know, we might be the very ones He calls to be His presence . . . "filling in the gaps" and bringing a sense of security and comfort to someone or a family who needs it. Thanks to my two-year old for the reminder.

How Long Must They Suffer?

2008-12-07T00:48:00.001-05:00

Ok - I'm beginning to think I shouldn't watch movies anymore. After years of living in Cambodia, I had gotten to the point I couldn't take dramas anymore. Emotionally I was spent after days of seeing and living with the trauma of a post-war society. So my husband and I resorted to renting comedies, romantic, satire, or otherwise, to get our minds off our work and the stress of life there. Afterall, it only cost about 50 cents there - a pretty cheap coping mechanism! But recently we rented a couple movies from Blockbuster, one about a former ruler of Uganda and tonight just a funny, ridiculous story about pregnancy. The first one was gruesome and traumatic as it relayed parts of a true story. The second just resurrected my dread of the year I was pregnant with my youngest child. Being pregnant made me realize how selfish I really am -- I didn't like being taken over by, what felt like, a foreign object! So, long story short, both movies left me feeling sick and sleepless.

Maybe I've become overly sensitive to things. Maybe I'm dealing with a slight case of PTS disorder myself, like my friend Brian who is taking a year break from Cambodia to recoup in Washington state. I don't know. Maybe my hormones just have me weeping about everything . . . but that's supposed to be predictable to a certain extent, right???

I was looking through pictures and headlines of this past week in national and world events. In the back drop to the pregnant woman who lost her baby after being stampeded during a Black Friday rush, there were the attacks in Mumbai, India . . . people from all over the world were victims in that scene. And the death toll rises due to the cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe, where a ruler who lost the election is too busy protecting his power to notice his people dying by the thousands of starvation and now disease. Thank goodness he has finally allowed aid workers back into the country. And then there was another bombing in Iraq killing 20 people. I wonder how many people noticed that on the news. Twenty doesn't sound like such a big number unless it is your wife or child or grandchild who was one of them. I looked at the pictures and I could not stop crying. The faces of grief and anguish, of sorrow and desire for comfort.

And what made me cry more is knowing that no one else I knew here was crying for them. In fact, I felt afraid to admit that I was crying. I feared someone telling me that, to help myself, I should stop thinking about those things. I don't like the helpless feeling in the words, "There's nothing you can do about it." I don't want to hear that I need to go on with my life. My life is here and that is there. No one says these words, but in the silence, I feel them.

And thinking those thoughts, whether they are true or not, makes me angry. Angry at myself for living here. Angry at how easy my life is. Angry when I hear people here in the U.S. worry about safety or how aweful 9/11 was. The faces I saw in the pictures this past week were grief stricken and I am sure that many of the faces around them trying to comfort them had seen this pain before -- maybe even yesterday. And they know that maybe tomorrow the pain could be their own. They live with this pain day in and day out. These thoughts make me cry out to God on their behalf . . . "how long, O Lord!"

The words to Psalm 13 have been flooding my mind and heart in relation to people suffering around the world today and this week:

How long, O Lord, will you forget them?
How long, O Lord, will you look the other way?
How long, O Lord, must I wrestle with my thoughts
And every day have such sorrow in my heart?

Look on me and answer, O God, my Father!
Bring light to their darkness, before I see them fall.

The last part of the Psalm brings comfort to me and I pray it for all those who need to feel God's comfort:

But I trust in your unfailing love
Yes, my heart will rejoice
Still I trust in your unfailing love
You have been good to me.

Comfort Your people, O Lord, with Your love and goodness.
Help them to see You in their darkness
so that they can have strength and peace in the painful times.

Lord, have mercy on Your Creation.
Bring your redemption to all people and all places,
for the sake of Your Name and Your Kingdom.
AMEN

And now Lord, help me sleep!

Simple Living America

2008-11-18T12:32:00.006-05:00

Some really great posts at this blogspot. Both provocative and encouraging:

http://simplelivingamerica.blogspot.com/

What America Can Do!

2008-11-11T14:41:00.004-05:00

I can’t help but stand in awe of what happened on election day. Each day since, I look at news reports or commentary on the TV and need to remind myself that Obama REALLY did win. I feel like I have to keep pinching myself to make sure this is really true . . . a change has happened.

Yet I also heard Obama say in his acceptance speech that while election day will stand as a significant marker in history, the test for change is yet to come. We just opened the door of possibility.

So many things happened in this election year that seem significant, that indicate changes in American society. Just the fact that the electorate voted in an African-American, just the fact that after 2 elections in which I couldn’t believe the politics that existed continued to be supported and now we have a different party in the oval office, just the fact that we voted for someone with lots of international connections after all the fear and false allegations about that leading up to the election . . . just those facts alone make me hopeful! Those are indicators of change.

Maybe, on a deeper level, the change is that, as a people, we are becoming more self-aware and willing to make greater leaps toward “justice for all.” Maybe we are more willing to stand up against rhetoric that demonizes, excludes and incites fear.

And I was happy to hear McCain's concession speech step past the "opponent" language to call Americans to unity. I hear Obama longing for bi-partisan cooperation rather than Democratic dominance. I found a Republican Party website that had the following to say about Obama:

Let Us Hope and Pray the Change He Spoke of Will Be For The Good of All America. We are Living in an Historic Time - Martin Luther King Would Be Proud. America Should Be Proud That We Have Come To This Moment.

Although We Do Not Agree With Obama on Many Issues We Will Fight the Fight on Future Issues but for now, Let Us Remember - We Are American's - First and Foremost.

May God Bless Barack Obama!
May God Bless Our Elected Officials!
May God Bless Our Troops!
May God Bless America!

I can only feel hopefulness that, in light of the changes that have happened already, deeper, more sustainable change can begin to transform our nation. Yes, it is amazing what America can do!

The Miracle of Simplicity

2008-11-10T16:31:00.013-05:00

I’ve always been inspired by the pictures of Jesus I see portrayed in the Bible. He was not a King born to a busy palace or even in a busy hospital. His parents were not preoccupied with meetings or national policies or work-related travel one would expect of a king’s family. No, his was a simple carpenter family, no pretenses to uphold or expensive tastes to sustain. He was born into simplicity. A simple, quiet barn, something I can relate to.

For as social as I can be at times, I treasured the quietness of our barn when I was a child. Sitting in human solitude, with the quiet munching of animals all around me brought peace to my soul when I was distressed. As I performed my chores in the darkness of the evening, my senses were keenly attuned to the sounds around me, of animals moving in their pens, of crickets and frogs and birds and other animals outside the barn. It was if time stood still and all that mattered was my existence in that moment in time. The busy-ness of life in my home felt so distant. I could focus on the simple rhythms of stable life: eating and breathing, and resting, and eating again. So uncomplicated, so simple, stripped to the basic functions of life. I wish all of life could be as simple as the stable picture of Jesus.

But even as Jesus entered ministry, somehow he was able to expose the things of life that humans so skillfully complicate. He told his parents they should not worry about him when they thought he was lost in Jerusalem. He told his disciples not to worry when they were thrashing around in a boat in a storm. He simply handed out bread and fish when there was obviously only enough for one small boy. He didn’t even debate when he was accused by authorities trying to pin him with religious malpractice. He simply asked questions or told stories of everyday life to redirect the accusations back to simple truths. Somehow Jesus brought simplicity to life situations in which humans felt despair or confusion.

Perhaps a simple approach to life does not evoke images of dignity and importance that a King should represent. Yet Jesus’ simple touch or simple questions pierced right through the complicated mess people felt they were in and brought peace greater than a thousand armies could provide at a king’s command. His schedule was not so packed that he couldn’t stop to notice a woman who touched his cloak for healing. And it was not beneath him to hold children on his lap or go fishing with the disciples. Who could imagine a King fashioned as such a simple man, yet commanding even the winds and storms to bring peace.

Jesus’ unconditional love and simple approach to life moved hearts in such a way that masses of people chose to follow him. There was something attractive about this carpenter in contrast to the religious leaders of the time. Jesus made the Gospel accessible. He didn’t package it in theological rhetoric or the list of do's/dont's prescribed by the Temple. The Gospel was incarnated, something living and breathing, something that took on the simple rhythms of everyday life.

God became flesh in the quietness and simplicity of a stable, surrounded by the sounds of animals chewing their cuds and stirring in the hay. It was not a palace, by any means. In fact, had Jesus been born in a palace, his birth would have been only one of a dozen of other important things that his family would have handled that day, recorded in public record. No, instead he was born in the stable, the dirty place behind the inn. The people at the inn didn’t care about the stable. But those whom the angels had invited to visit realized the significance of the event and bowed in worship. This simple place was one of peace, where the love of God could be outpoured, unhampered by the hustle and bustle of human agenda and chaos.

Simplicity . . . ridding our lives of the hustle and bustle of complicated things. It’s not just a choice, it’s a miracle that happens when the Gospel becomes incarnate within us. Simplicity is living proof that it is possible to hold faith, love and hope in a world that is churning in fear, hopelessness and hate. People want solutions to the complicated mess we call humanity. The answer lies in learning to know the living and breathing God we see in Jesus and to whom we give testimony.

As we step out of the din of the busy-ness around us and step into the quietness of the stable, we open ourselves anew to hear and see the people longing for and welcoming the Gospel incarnate. May our lives reflect that simple reality of love, hope and peace so that others may receive Christ’s touch through us.

The Church on Immigration

2008-10-29T09:26:00.003-04:00

“The church has the call to welcome the stranger
and proclaim that any division
between immigrant and native is erased;
there are no borders or boundaries for us
as followers of Jesus.
When institutions and agencies
side with the powers of the world,
the church is called to side with the oppressed,
the poor, stranger and the marginalized.
If we fail to do this, we fail to be the church."

Saulo Padilla, MCC U.S. Director for the Office on Immigration

"Numbness"

2008-09-28T16:06:00.012-04:00

Today Brian quoted the word, "numbness," to describe the coping reaction many of us develop to survive in American society each day. It is true, we get overcome by the passions of this world, the worries of a market economy, the insecurities of dependence on a global community, and the insatiable god of consumerism. We work as much as we can, spend as little as we can on as much as as we want and still feel like we are never getting ahead. And our endeavors toward, what I'd say is a myth, "getting ahead," dominates our efforts toward and our hope in "God's kingdom coming on earth."

We exhaust ourselves in striving for what we are told will provide lasting happiness, that we have little time or energy to think about the impracticalities of a radical call of Jesus to abandon all and take up our cross. No, we are so busy trying to protect ourselves from "crosses," that we end up bearing little resemblance to the carpenter who, in the face of accusations and suffering, sat in the homes of tax collectors, prostitutes, adulterers and heathens, a Call we acknowledge on a Sunday morning but by Monday have no time for.

Yet the word, "numbness," gave me a new slant on this reality that I have struggled to describe since my return to the United States from overseas. It names an infirmity facing the North American church. Particularly, it is the deepest challenge of followers of Jesus, at this time in history, to live incarnationally and radically in our society.

When I first returned, I chalked up my struggle with the church to culture shock. I then started judging what I saw as apathy. I mourned it as a loss of zeal or fervency to missional living in everyday life as a Christian. But to diagnose it as a numbness makes it no less a challenge, but certainly more deserving of pity and understanding. It depicts a people who are burdened with something they can't control, at least at first look. They are captive to conformity . . . one could call it a form of mental subsistance living, a people bogged down, unable to think beyond their day to day cycles of making a livelihood and endeavors for personal comforts. It gets to the point that people have little or no imagination for what could be, for how we could live differently and for how our communities really could change to reflect the Kingdom of God in our day and age.

The shock of this reality for me, initially, was almost suffocating, a slowly encroaching lethargy that gets heavier and heavier, threatening any hope or happiness that one claims is possible through Christ. It was like fighting for fresh air, feeling heavy-hearted and not understanding why. When I tried to fight it, I got the feeling that people did not approve. To fight what is "normal" appears critical, foolish, immature and perhaps even rebellious. It makes the claims of freedom from worries sound irresponsible and naive. I wonder if the numbness people feel in life is something contagious, or maybe it is in the water, most certainly grows like a cancer that threatens to consume.

But what I heard today is that it is something we need to fight, to struggle against and proclaim freedom from. It is a matter of life or death, in my opinion. Not only a risk to our own vibrancy in our life in Christ, but also a matter of life for those around us who need to see a Christ that reaches out to them, that loves them as they are, where they are, in whatever state they are. The Body of Christ, in its brokenness and struggle, bears witness to a Christ that understands human suffering and still offers hope and freedom and joy. This in the face of a society that, conversely, proclaims fear, insecurity, judgment, gloom and doom when our independence is threatened and we may not get to live like we want.

The challenge is clear. We need to break free of this numbness. We need to break through the strongholds of a consumer and security dependent lifestyle. We need to throw off our inhibitions to following Christ's call to radical living in a society that demands conformity. We need to think critically about what we hear and who we listen to and what jargon we repeat. We need to submit ourselves to one another in humility and earnestness, seeking not the will of the majority, rather the will of the One who has sent us. We need to trust the guidance of the Holy Spirit and not our limited ability to figure it all out. Somehow we must break free of the numbness that binds us and keeps us from participating in ushering in the Kingdom. The Gospel is Good News and people want to hear it and see it. There is no time to waste! We need to re-spark the fervency to proclaim it and live it.

A Tribute to Alice Compain

2008-09-09T14:59:00.005-04:00

An incredible woman. Knew Khmer fluently. Sat with the Cambodians in the refugee camps during Pol Pot time and listened to them sing their traditional songs. Played along on her violin and wrote both the Khmer words and music notes down. Eventually helped to put it all together to create the first Christian hymnal in Khmer. I was challenged and honored to have led singing during worship services at the ICF with her for many years.

The OMF article:

Veteran OMF Missionary to Cambodia , Alice Compain, died soon after 3.00 am on Thursday 4th September ( UK time). She served in Laos before commencing her ministry here in the early 70’s. Alice was also a long term ICF member and was frequently seen playing her violin at the afternoon service. We have known for some time that she was growing weaker through the cancer she was diagnosed with two years ago. Despite her frail health, Alice ’s spirit has been as vibrant as ever these past two years, and many of us on the OMF team and in the Cambodian church have been so blessed by her continuing involvement with us through her prayer, counsel and advice from afar. Even last month she emailed the office to tell us which student should receive the violin strings she just posted from the UK ! I’m sure many of you have memories of Alice to share. She has been a godly and wise teacher, mother, sister, friend and example to several generations of people in Cambodia as well as in Laos and Thailand throughout her missionary life. She will be greatly missed. It was special to have had the opportunity to have held ‘farewells’ for Alice in 2007 both in Khmer church circles and in OMF when she visited Cambodia for the last time.

Let us be in prayer for Alice ’s family (sister and brother-in-law) and loved ones in the UK and her adopted country of Cambodia – Ling & Jean Luc Lebrun, Somalay and many others. Pray also for Naomi Sharp, also a former OMF missionary in Cambodia , who at Alice ’s request has a number of significant parts to play in the memorial service to be held soon.

We celebrate a life well lived in service of God. We may grieve but look forward with hope to the day of reunion that the Lord will give us.

Political Rhetoric and the Global Community

2008-09-05T07:38:00.004-04:00

Karissa mentioned that she has continued to ponder the situation in the Middle East and ensuing questions regarding our role as the U.S. there in light of the current political season. I decided to post my observations.

I keep thinking to myself in this current political season how much I resonate with the philosophy that we NEED to be willing to humbly engage world leaders to find/nurture ways toward greater interdependence rather than continue our arrogant and fearful attempts to isolate ourselves from our global neighbors and persist in our attempts toward greater independence/self-sufficiency. I hear both views in the current political speeches. Some speak of hope for better global relationships, humble engagement with world leaders, attempts toward finding points of interdependence. Others continue the rhetoric of fear, our need to work toward greater self-sufficiency so that we can further isolate ourselves from our neighbors.

Part of my reflections on this has come out of my considerations of community vs. the society we have come to embody. I think part of the reason the U.S. is so fearful of the rest of the world (terrorism) and we pick/choose what parts of the world we pay attention to, is because we don't see other nations as friends or potential partners (in a sincere view of cooperation). Rather we see others as interests to maintain (and so we do so using heavy-handed diplomacy -- an oxymoron, if you ask me). As long as we nurture relationships based on interests, we will have enemies who have felt exploited, ignored or subservient. Thus the anger we see is not just because people of the world are jealous that we are rich and powerful, as I have heard good Christians reason, rather it is because of how we have used that wealth and power.

I also hear lots of Christians exclaim how generous we are as a society. And this is true. There are well meaning and loving people who have given of their excess to bless those less fortunate around the world. Yet the unfortunate backdrop to that is the precedent the U.S. has led. Giving from the U.S. is like asking a child to feel true love from an abusive father who gives a Christmas gift. Of course the child is happy, for the moment. But in the back of his/her mind is always the memory and experience of abuse and exploitation. Some may argue with this view, however, this is the sense I get as I piece together the feelings I hear from internationals.

I can't help but apply this philosophy and view toward what we see in the Middle East. The U.S. has been very strategic to guard its interests in that region at the expense of human relationships and respect. And, as Karissa, who traveled to that region, pointed out, much of the results of our "diplomacy" and sanctions has gone unnoticed by many Americans . . . because for the most part we don't take the time to care. We like being the "big brother" in the global family, and even handing out candy once in a while, yet we don't like the responsibility that comes with it, caring for our little brothers and sisters who need protection and looking for ways we can work together, depend on one another and respect one another.

We play favorites and then we wonder why people get offended.

Reflections on Gemeinschaft vs. Gesellschaft

2008-09-04T10:52:00.010-04:00

Back at the books . . . reflecting on readings from my Community Relations class . . . always a bit overwhelming when you first look at the syllabus . . . but this time a leadership class that speaks a lot to my personal style, thoughts on life and work experience.

Reading more of Sergiovanni who continues to challenge the accepted norms of relationships and interaction within society and organizations in his book, Building Community in Schools (1994). He applies the German metaphorical words noted by sociologist, Ferdinand Tonnies, gemeinschaft and gesellschaft, to explain two ideals of life or ways of thinking. These words are opposites on a continuum, but also symbolize the evolution of the conserving human institutions of family, community, and society. The closest English words to the German would be community and society, however, as is often the case, the extent of the meaning is hard to capture in just these two translations.

There are different forms of gemeinschaft, the sense that we see reflected in the concepts of community. The "we" identity is foundational to the sense of belonging from which community builds. Gemeinschaft can exist by kinship among families or extended family; of place, a common locale like a school or neighborhood; or gemeinschaft of mind, which can include people from different places who share common goals and a shared set of values. Unlike gesellschaft, in true community, relationships are not contractual, rather they are based on understandings about what is shared and on emerging webs of obligations that people follow to embody what is shared. "Communities are socially organized around relationships and the felt interdependencies that nuture them" (Blau and Scott, 1962). Communities are based on commitments, the sacred, the personal; society or organizations are more secular and relationships are contractual, more impersonal. Relationships in community or gemeinschaft thinking develop out of natural will, with no ulterior motive or tangible goal or benefit in mind.

Tonnies argues that as modern society evolves or advances, the world drifts further from the gemeinschaft end of the continuum toward the gesellschaft end. Connections between people are more contrived, artificially constructed. While in gemeinschaft, people can remain united despite separating factors, in the gesellschaft people are essentially separated in spite of all the uniting factors. Gesellschaft is the foundation for organizations and it is what promotes isolationism, independence and competition. Gesellschaft requires politeness as people exchange courtesies on the surface, promoting the good or all or equality. However, the underlying motive is self-interest; "what must I say or do to elevate my status or win a competition." People associate with each other for reasons; rational will examines the benefits of particular relationships. The hierarchy of corporations, organizations, and even schools run on this mentality.

There are many applications of this theory to the struggles we see in society and human relationships. Students who feel a lack of community within family or school will look for it in gangs. Organizations and schools are structured based on gesellschaft thinking, yet have the potential to embody some of gemeinschaft ideals. The reality is that human existance depends on some of both. Yet what struck me most is that, even in contexts that value community, how much we are taught to emulate the values of gesellschaft thinking. As professionals we are taught to act and evaluate organizationally, yet somehow embody community-mindedness.

One of my classmates and I were discussing how strange that, even in our leadership program, we are expected to create our vision as school leaders, yet this class re-emphasizes that vision is something that should come out of the members of the community. Our job is to mobilize people by helping them create their own vision and action plan based on felt needs and available resources within the community. If leaders create the vision for the community, there is less buy-in and it takes more effort from the leader to figure out all the details later. It is risky. The alternative is also tricky. Getting a community to create and develop its own vision takes lots of time and energy initially. It takes enormous effort from the leader to keep the momentum in the process as it begins. Yet it pays off later as more people are willing to help take the lead of various aspects of the action plan. The vision is more natural and fits the context. It, in itself, helps to build the sense of community, motivation and interconnectedness needed to nurture relationships.

I realize that my preferred style is the latter. Helping groups develop their own vision is what I did best in my work in Cambodia. But in that role, I saw myself as more of a consultant or an advisor. I merely facilitated the process. Even when I was a part of the leadership team, I acted more as a facilitator of the process. I see more and more that I am not so confident in coming up with a vision on my own and telling a group what they should be doing or even what "we" will be doing (though that is needed to a certain extent in most cases). My approach to any group or job or situation seems to be to try to assess the values or goals of the group to see how I can fit in or help the group process what they want to do. So even though my training has primarily focused on organizational thinking, I see more clearly that the values of community fit well with my personal style. This has been very helpful for me to identify as I continue in this program and consider what my vision really is as a leader in education.

Reflections on "The Shack"

2008-08-19T23:05:00.008-04:00

Many people I know have read "The Shack" within the last year. So finally I got to it too. Considering my very fuzzy state of mind as of late, I don't have many profound reactions, but I must say it impacted me both emotionally and spiritually. That being said, however, I should also admit that after reading only about half of it, I actually put it down for a week or so. While I usually quickly identify with main characters in some way, I wasn't so sure I could hang in there with Mack upon his return to the shack. But after a while, my curiosity returned and I picked it up again to see what really happened. I'm glad I did, though I'm not sure I can articulate all my reasons why.

Most expectedly it affected me emotionally. A tragic story such as what happened to Mack's family can quickly raise one's awareness of safety and children. But then as Mack worked through his emotions upon his return to the shack, I broke down, nearly uncontrollably. I'm not sure I was weeping as much for him as much as I was for myself and so many others who have experienced similar pain in life, the tragedies in human relationships, the brokenness that leave scars that never completely heal. Tears really do feel good when one feels free to release them. That was one part of Mack's experience that made me really think. But I was surprised how the physical and emotional healing for Mack was almost secondary, in my mind, to the spiritual healing that took place as Mack faced his long-held views of God and God's character.

The major part of Mack's healing process that struck me was the constant emphasis on the Love of God that humans find very hard to comprehend let alone exhibit toward one another. I've been considering how too often I'm afraid to talk about pain in my life with those closest to me because I'm afraid of a lecture, a judgment, or a sense that I am not spiritual enough, that I am not in tune with God enough, or that somehow my human struggles are because of a lack of faith on my part. What I appreciated about "The Shack" was that I didn't see any part of that message in Mack's experience at the shack. Mack was constantly reminded that God is Love. Even God's extension of human choice and His acceptance or tolerance of human chaos is an act of love.

Some may argue with the author's perception or portrayal of the Trinity, but, personally, I found it encouraging and affirming of a healthy interpretation of Scripture and relationship between God and Man. As I reflect on Mack's conversations at the shack, my mind keeps spinning back to the question of what in Scripture is descriptive and what is prescriptive. For example, the reference in Genesis to a woman's heart turning toward her husband is so much clearer to me now when I complete the sentence by acknowledging God's pain . . . our turning away from Him as Creator, ultimate and limitless meeter of needs, to another human being who is limited by his humanness and own needs. This Scripture reference is not the voice of a judging God prescribing some order of hierarchy, as I previously thought, rather it is a loving God sadly describing what Man's independence has caused. That alone makes me weep when I think of God's longing for reconcilliation, restoration of right relationships.

It also brings a much deeper meaning to God's order of Love and Justice. Christians like to throw around the word Grace to describe this aspect of God's love toward us, but I think "The Shack" reveals how Grace is really just one small part of that picture or expanse of God's Love and Justice. God's Grace is really more like a token or gift, how we cope with the ins and outs/ups and downs of life. But all of Creation and the order of things really are guided by an incredible and expansive love for Creation and longing for reconcilliation of all things that only the Creator could have. That is just amazing. "The Shack" seemed to emphasize this repeatedly as Mack encountered the Trinity there.

Finally, I saw God's Mercy in a new way. I think that a God who chooses to limit Himself in order to show love is really extending Mercy. Our Declaration of Independence in the Beginning was the Fall of Man. Everytime God allows us to make our own choices, based on our independent mindedness, He extends mercy to us. It made me much more conscious of the times I limit myself to play with my children or assist an elderly person up some steps, all the while acknowledging the reality of the struggle. We do this to affirm their dignity and extend respect. I wonder how often our Father does that to His Children? A lot more times than we acknowledge -- and each time he extends His Mercy because, more often than not, we are going to fall and don't like to admit it. God's love extends Mercy to protect us and affirm our dignity and worth.

I started the book with few expectations, and at some points I was uncomfortable a bit with the conversations. But if one is willing to have traditional views of God and religion challenged, than this is a good book to read. The colorful images of the Trinity will remain in my mind and probably forever influence my view of God. And as should happen, our changes in views should be reflected in changes in our language and behavior, though I can't say exactly how that may evolve for me. I can say, however, "The Shack" makes an impression because Mack's story is one we all can identify with at some point. Brokenness and uncertainty are woven into the fabric of every person's story somewhere. And we all need to better understand the incredible Love and Mercy and Justice of our Creator God in order to live lives that Jesus made possible on the Cross, lives that reflect the wholeness and joy of a relationship with a Living, Loving God.

Stories that darken your soul

2008-07-20T16:00:00.007-04:00

I've been reading lots of stories from Cambodia, mostly stories from people who survived some or all of the 30 years of war and four years of genocide. Story after story of tragedy, war, rape, murder, abuse . . . Families torn apart by the evil of human greed and lust for power . . . the reality which is both disgusting and heartbreaking at the same time. Many of these first-hand accounts have been written for therapeutic reasons by the people who continue to dread the memories of what they saw and experienced. My heart weeps for them and the burden they carry. Even as the everyday pain of the losses grows less over time, the memories can quickly be re-triggered. Post-traumatic stress ultimately affects the psyche of following generations in ways psychologists are still studying to understand better.

One book I have read over the years is called "Killing Fields Living Fields." It details many of these stories including that of the Church through this time. In it we see not only the human spirit and will to survive, but also how in the ashes of the fire, the stench of human death, seeds of hope are germinated . . . new growth, new life. One can't help but stand in awe of how God can use such a horrible human act to continue the work of building His Church. No, not even the Hell of Hate poured out on Cambodia from 1970 on could fully quench the healing river of Christ. A tiny but mighty remnant of God's people was saved for the continued work that became legalized in the 1990's.

Today, when I become discouraged by the human effects on the Church, I remember that the builder and architect of the Church is Jesus Himself. He knows what it's like to be human and still entrusts the work of the Body to us! There is nothing that can stand in the way of His purposes and there is no people-group on this Earth that He has forgotten. Even though the Killing Fields of the Cambodian genocide from 1975 to 1979 nearly wiped out the Church in that country, in the Living Fields today we find a people, dealing with the same reality of being human we do, but displaying a resiliency, the marks of the Cross that Christ Himself survived.

Stories that darken your soul . . . tragedy and pain . . . they are all around you in that land and here. Yet one can't help but stand in awe of the ways Christ can bring restoration to the brokenness of the human condition and that of the Church. Rivers of healing, seeds of hope, killing fields to living fields . . . in the stories of human experience and survival we see the Gospel of Christ at work, turning mourning into gladness, restoring broken hearts and minds, and always preserving the work of building the Church, His people, His Body. This is His Story.

Faith for God's Vision

2008-06-28T00:16:00.002-04:00

Oh to have the faith of Joseph . . . Who, given "dreams" from the Lord, accepted them as God's mysterious promise . . . Who, when questioned and ridiculed by his brothers, trusted God's call . . . Who, betrayed and sitting in a prison cell -- even for many years, based his value not in himself, but in the One who saved him . . . Who, not looking for hope in his circumstances, held fast to the hope in the future fulfillment of God's vision . . . Who, because of his faith, could see God's hand and was quick to follow God's lead.

Prayer of Assurance

2008-06-27T00:29:00.004-04:00

Gardener God,

You have planted and protected us by your faithful hand.
Send us the sap of your grace from Christ, the true Vine,
and make us blossom and bear the fruit of love
as a sign of your life in us.
Let the sweet fragrance of the shoots you have planted
give you praise forever and ever.
Amen.

-- Pilgram Marpeck, 16th century Anabaptist leader

Peace by Force

2008-06-16T11:31:00.005-04:00

Last evening Karissa gave a presentation of her semester spent in the Middle East. Thank you, Karissa, for your reflections on what you observed, namely, the Israeli-Palestinian situation. As we looked at the players involved, including the United States, and the role of Empires in that region over thousands of years, it certainly does beg the question, how are we being Christ-followers in our attitudes, responses and lack thereof, here in the 21st century? And how are we living as Christ within the current Empire?

Your presentation and personal response reminded me of a quote by Albert Einstein:

"Peace cannot be kept by force.
It can only be achieved by understanding."

The Mystery of Love

2008-06-15T17:15:00.000-04:00

I was saving this post as a thank-you to my husband for our anniversary next month, but I changed my mind as we sat as a family today at lunch. We don't usually do much for our anniversary. It comes and goes and we might go out to eat, but I realized today just how much more I appreciate our marriage with having children. My husband returned home from a week-long work-related trip in the wee hours this morning, yes, Father's Day. And today our children were very excited to take daddy out to one of his favorite restaurants for lunch. Yes, Father's Day is another one of those "Hallmark Card" days, yet, I really don't ever want to take for granted my husband's role in my life and that of our family.

Love is truly a mystery. Our wedding verse was from Proverbs, "A cord of three strands is not easily broken." I am so thankful I found someone who loves the Lord and desires to keep Him central in our marriage. I continually stand in awe of this man who, even knowing all about me, including all my idiosyncrasies and irritating traits, still loves me and remains my best friend. After 14 years of marriage, he is still committed to finding new ways to support and encourage me and the family; and he has even gotten to the point that he throws in a surprise here or there. He is quick to forgive and is dependable. And as far as the parenting thing -- I made it clear from the start that we were going into it as partners, for I knew I could not do a good job on my own. My children would lose some wonderful nurturing without their dad. He provides stability and is a loving father. We work together on just about everything and I am glad to have someone who will give me honest feedback and input. Life would be very lonely without him.

So, this is a prayer of thanksgiving:
thanking the LORD
for giving me a wonderful husband
and father of our children,
and for remaining the Central Cord
of our marriage.
Love is truly a mystery.

Happy Father's Day and thanks for 14 wonderful years of marriage!

Adaptation Reflections in Light of Incarnational Living

2008-06-14T11:38:00.007-04:00

Adaptation is one of those abstract nouns you can't detect with your 5 senses but its reality makes life a lot easier and survival more sure for all living things. There are many indicators of adaptation which we can see and feel, but adaptation is more like a state of being than something concrete. Humans depend on it for both living processes as well as maintaining order in society and cultures. I always have been interested to see how culture demands conformity and conformity is really a form of adaptation, things you need to do to survive in a particular context.

Whenever I have moved to a new place or new experience, of course adaptation was necessary and in most cases I was unaware of my own adjustments. Perhaps I was most acutely aware of this dynamic when I moved to SE Asia, when every fiber of my being was stretched, challenged and evaluated 24/7. I knew I wanted to adapt and I did everything I could think of to help the process along in ways that were authentic. In this case, I felt adaptation was good, necessary and helpful because I wanted to relate to people in ways that were respectful, caring, relevant and, as I have been reflecting, incarnational. What I have struggled to understand in myself is why I have fought the same process upon my return to my "mother culture," the United States.

The truth is, my return is really no different if my aim is to live incarnationally. The process of adaptation focuses on the same things. I suppose, if I learned to sit and enjoy the company of, what most people around here would say are, "the least of these" (poorest of the poor in Cambodia), I guess I should learn to enjoy people here, where I am now. Afterall, this seems to be where God has plopped me -- for what reason, I still have no idea. But sometimes I think I should really get over my hang-ups and just allow myself to adapt. But there are certain areas of adaptation that have revealed things I still really struggle with personally, and maybe that is why I have been digging in my heels and looking with distain at the ways I have actually adjusted to fit in.

Values and language are big ones. To adapt anywhere, one must catch the lingo, the interests, and the patterns and preferences of communication. One must learn the taboos and the hierarchy of power to know to whom it is ok to say what and when. It is a tricky process of building trust and then acknowledging that trust can be lost at any moment when you mess up and don't get it right.

Some cultures are more forgiving than others. Some will laugh at you and enjoy your tries (like in Cambodia). Some will turn their nose up and give you a "shame on you" look. I learned to laugh a lot in Cambodia for I felt no judgment -- everyone laughed at each other for mistakes and fopas. One thing hard about adapting in the U.S. is people do not like to laugh -- neither at themselves nor at funny things we all attempt. There is a false-pride screen everyone holds up to hide shame.

Maybe that is one reason I have despised re-adaptation here in the U.S. I am not re-adapting to being a real person. I suppose in all cases of re-adaptation we force ourselves into doing things we are not accustomed to. But adaptation is usually behavior-focused. We still remain ourselves inside. And our past experiences and upbringing and mother-culture and mother-tongue accents remain a part of who we are. When I adapted to living in Cambodia, I was still accepted for being me - all those parts of me. No matter how much I would "screw up" in my adaptation, I could still acknowledge those parts of me that were different.

So maybe what I have hated about re-adaptation now is that I sometimes feel I can't really be me. I can't always feel comfortable exposing those parts of me that have made me who I am. Conformity sometimes feels so strong a force. And when I see myself conforming, at times, I despise myself. I catch myself reflecting the false-ness, superiority and image people insist on maintaining. There are people I associate with who try so hard to look perfect, it makes me know in my heart that I don't fit in. I am not perfect and I am ashamed at the ways I falsely try to be "perfect" just so I can talk to people I really like . . . afraid that if I don't put on the right look or say the right things, they won't want to talk to me.

I have slowly met people who are willing to be real. And as I purposefully refuse to put up a screen, I have found that others are more willing to be real and let down theirs. But the truth is, it is really hard to live incarnationally with screens that hide parts of ourselves. This is perplexing to me -- why do people live like this? It is also probably my biggest hang-up with the institutional church too. I really don't think the institutional church can ever be truly incarnational, for the institution, by its very nature is a screen, opposing the ethos of incarnation and grassroots.

Love cannot be felt through an institution. Love requires hands and feet and people. People at all levels need those who are willing to live incarnationally, relating as real people to extend the love of Christ and draw others into the Body. But the challenges of pushing through false-pride and screens that hide our vulnerabilities and common human struggles has been discouraging for me at times. I know I don't want to adapt to those types of coping mechanisms, for they are not life-giving and empowering. And I really think they are the biggest obstacles to our ability to express the Gospel of hope, love and peace.

Our Renters

2008-06-14T09:37:00.009-04:00

If you look closely, you will see one of our little renters perched on the piece of tree stuck in the fence.

I've been watching with interest this bird house we put in our back yard. My sister-in-law made it out of a squash and it still contains the dried innards. I doubted we would get any renters since we have 3 children disturbing the peace back there each day. But sure enough, a couple weeks ago I caught a couple making their home there and the last couple days have watched them work together to chase the squirrels away and complain bitterly when the children got close by in their tree house. Suspecting some new additions, I hid behind the tree and caught the evidence "on tape."

How precious to watch family life in this way.

Summer Break and Catching UP

2008-06-06T15:12:00.004-04:00

Oh my goodness! I nearly forgot my log-in info for my blog. I have had little to no interest in blogging the last few weeks -- too many other things demanding my attention. And I apologize I had comment enabling on the whole time - forgot to turn it off. I think I'm back on track now. . . though I'm not too sure how much longer my computer will live. It's been having some major problems lately to the point I nearly lost my final project for my class yesterday. Yes there were tears -- and lots of prayers till an hour later I was able to coax the thing to reboot long enough to print it out. It's twitching and doing strange things right now too, but so far, I'm still online.

I've been struggling again lately with feeling depressed and unfocused. I wondered if/when I could kick myself out of it . . . hoping it was just a busy thing and summer/school break would be the sunshine I needed. Now summer is officially here -- I can say it and I can feel it!!!! Nothing cheers me more than just sitting outside watching the birds flit around, squirrels intently digging for food and flowers spreading their beautiful colors toward the sky.

My kids are out of school now and I just finished my 4-week summer class last night. What a relief till -- after a chaotic morning today trying to adjust to having them run around making messes all over the place and my baby refusing to take a nap, I finally realized that if I'm actually going to survive and even enjoy this summer, some organization has got to happen. I'm not good at messes and chaos. So I sat down with my kids and agreed upon a summer schedule so they are happy and clear and so I'm not driven crazy with aimless days where I get nothing done.

And because of that I am actually enjoying a quiet hour now catching up on various blogs and writing. I think at this stage of my life, this is important therapy for me.

So to all of you who are embarking on your summer - enjoy the sunshine!

TRUST

2008-05-15T23:35:00.007-04:00

It sounds like such a simple word, yet without it life is reckless and full of fear. With it we can foster peace and hope and life and growth. It is something we spend years to develop, and yet, too often take for granted. Assuming it is present can be even more damaging or dangerous than its absence.

Though I know this to be true, in my foolishness and oblivion at times, I forget. And then the shocking reality crashes around me . . . people don't really know me. No matter how good my intentions, how committed I may be, how sincere I really am, if people do not know me, they will not trust me.

We can embark on quests to make the world better, to touch someone's life in a positive way, to share love and peace and hope. Yet, without trust, the efforts are futile . . . trust in human goodness, trust in a Sovereign God, and trust in love that transcends human comprehension. I once heard trust compared to credit in the bank. The more credit you have in the bank, the more you can accomplish. I wonder how much of life we spend building trust and how much of life we can spend actually using that trust to make a difference.

Can God's Voice be Heard in Media Soundbytes?

2008-04-27T21:33:00.010-04:00

A friend sent out this note about an article that was published, basically as another scare tactic against Barak Obama. Here is the beginning of his note and my return letter to him is below.

The Huffington Post's Jon Wiener writes, in the commentary attached below, with jaded incredulity of the LA Times's decision to run a front page article on April 10th, Allies of Palestinians see a friend in Barak Obama, about the fact that Barack Obama has a friend of Palestinian descent (the prominent Columbia University historian Rashid Khalidi) and went to hear a lecture by Edward Said ten (yes, ten!) years ago. No one can be surprised that big media, in articles like this, and American politicians on both sides of the aisle continue to pander to powerful Israel-right-or-wrong constituents. They merely reinforce a toxic trend in which anyone who can possibly be characterized as a critic of Israel or as sympathetic towards Palestinians is liable to be demonized with all the familiar epithets.

Jon Wiener

Breaking News: Obama Met Palestinian Intellectuals Ten Years Ago

Posted April 10, 2008 | 04:42 PM (EST)

An edited response I wrote to the article and email:

Most days I see ridiculous accusations like this and think,
the American people must be able to see through this type of diversion.

However, to my discouragement, I have found time and time again that these tactics work their magic. Yes, sadly, the media not only has the power to control the fate of any story, it has also become the voice "of God" for many of God's people. Its artistically devised messages declare judgment and warning and approval on whom it deems worthy and even on those on whom the judgment is unfair.

The other night Bill Moyers, on his show, Bill Moyers Journal, interviewed Rev. Jeremiah Wright. Here is the link if you didn't see it Bill Moyers Journal, April 25, 2008. It was most fascinating to hear Rev. Wright share after all the media has done to demonize him in recent months. Also it was so encouraging to hear Rev. Wright's message and views directly. Honestly, I sat there listening and thought to myself, this guy could be a Mennonite pastor! However, many of the Mennonites I know nowadays would no longer subscribe to his radical message of non-violence and discipleship. The interview was most heartening and refreshing. Bill Moyers is always a good interviewer too - he asked Rev. Wright to give more background to the sermon he gave following 9/11 and they aired more of the message, framing a context for the soundbytes we've been hearing in the news. Unfortunately, most Christians I know who believe the contrived messages surrounding soundbytes that have been taken out of context don't ever watch shows like Bill Moyers.

I have been teaching a Sunday School class from Conrad Kanagy's book, Road Signs for the Journey, based on a research project comparing trends in the Mennonite Church over the last 30+ years. Kanagy says that mostly white Mennonites have moved from the margins to the middle in society (basically through assimilation and increasing affluence) and now all we care about is protecting our lifestyles, culture and nation. Kanagy challenges us that the prophetic voices we need to listen to come from the margins of society, this includes the Racial/Ethnic members of our churches. Rev. Wright is truly a prophetic voice to our society, however, like many who speak God's message, he has been labeled as blasphemous. And I'm grieved to see how it has affected Obama's campaign mostly because we can easily see how it has fueled the racism and prejudices that too quickly flare up in our country when the "middle" feels threatened.

Quite honestly, one thing that impresses me about Obama is his interest in hearing all sides of an issues and his willingness to build relationships on all sides of political divides throughout the world. The accusations in these articles only raise my regard for his character and humility. . . humility is something the United States could sure use a ton more of in its leaders.

Enough for now . . . I pray that those on all sides of the political divide can drop any indignation long enough to join together to pray for God's peace to transform us . . . so that, as God's people, we can see the world the way God does and hear His voice as He speaks in the most unexpected ways.

Artists, Craftsmen and Technocrats

2008-04-08T10:29:00.007-04:00

No, not a democrat, a technocrat. . . This morning I started reading Strengthening the Heartbeat, Leading and Learning Together in Schools, by Thomas J. Sergiovanni. In chapter 8 he talks about different kinds of leaders. I found it interesting in light of discussion about what kind of leaders we see the Presidential candidates being and what gifts we could see them bringing to the White House. I am not completely sure which applies to McCain, Clinton and Obama, but the point of the chapter is that, as is the case with any of these tools, we need to think in terms of who we can surround ourselves with to fill in the roles where our giftings fall short. In terms of politicians, they usually choose running-mates who balance themselves out on the political spectra, however, the key, of course, is who they surround themselves with, staff-wise, to help make a more balanced and effective team.

The three "archetypes" were developed by Patricia Pitcher (1997) who argues that leadership training is important, but personality factors, dispositions and styles (archetypes) of leadership count for a lot. These are the three archetypes:

Artists are brilliant visionaries, people oriented, open minded and intuitive. They view leadership as vision which transfers into goals. Artists tend to be imaginative, emotional and entrepreneur-like. People are drawn to them for their charisma and inspiring ideas. Artists are also daring and unpredictable at times.

Craftsmen are empathetic and effective developers of people who empower others and are skilled at bringing people together to get things done. They view leadership as design which transfers vision and big ideas into understandable and useful practice. Though sometimes seen as critical, craftsmen tend to be stable, wise and and responsible. They are good at managing attention, meaning, trust, paradox, and, with practice, can manage effectiveness.

Technocrats are also brilliant, meticulous, and superb at managing things, though not so much people. They depend more on hyper-rationality, rules, steps, procedures, standardization and what has been done before. Technocrats view leadership as script, making sure everything and everyone is running by the book. They tend to be serious, meticulous and methodical.

I was surprised to hear Pitcher argue that in our school systems, we have too much vision and not enough people who can build strategies, develop the ideas and rally the human resources to get jobs done and build good teams. She also went on to say that too many technocrats in top leadership roles can do irreparable harm. They are best suited to lower management. In the broader picture of an institution, Pitcher recommends that artists and technocrats each make up about 10% of the population of leaders and the rest be craftsmen (80%). It seems like a tall order if her assessment that our nation is lacking in craftsmen is, indeed, true.

As I think about the three candidates I mentioned above, I see Obama as a visionary. He inspires people and is able to imagine a future not locked-in by the past. Based on Pitcher's archetypes, it would be imperative, however, that Obama surround himself with craftsmen to help people feel that vision being worked out. What I am not sure about is McCain and Clinton. I really can't say I see them as artists. In fact, I'm worried that they may, in fact, fall into the Technocrat category, in which case, based on Pitcher's analysis, could cause trouble as far as their ability to work with others and envision truly new possibilities. Maybe Hillary is a Craftsmen. I'm not sure.

Or maybe, they are all artists, to a certain extent. I suppose to be a politician in the first place means that you must have some visionary ability. And maybe it is more their personalities which make them more or less team players and able to see global issues outside of the box of precedent. In either case, as Pitcher points out, when we match leaders to particular positions/roles, we should be taking into consideration, not just what they say, but how they work, how they relate to people, and even the types of people they are willing to surround themselves with to make them more effective. This is something I'm going to pay more attention to in the next few months.

After living overseas for a number of years, I have come to realize that our awareness of these issues as Americans is never enough. For I am humbled to say that when we cast our votes for the President of the United States of America, the truth is, we are also casting a vote for the most powerful leader in the world. Do we bear this burden with enough courage and integrity balanced with a healthy dose of fear and trepidation?

God's People Then and Now

2008-04-07T10:40:00.009-04:00

My Sunday School class is looking at some research done in the Mennonite Church over the last 35 years and its implications on the health and direction of the Church today as analyzed by sociologist, Conrad Kanagy, in his book, Road Signs for the Journey. In his analysis Kanagy compares the state of the church today with that of God's people in the time of the OT prophet, Jeremiah, sixth century B.C.

In his description of Jeremiah, Kanagy describes the roles of prophets in society. First, they were futurists. Jeremiah was able to step out of the past to imagine what God was going to do next. While prophets were often seen as pessimists and preaching doom and gloom to people, actually, prophetic messages were usually ones of hope. The hope was in the very fact that God was speaking to them and giving them another chance to listen and obey, thus saving themselves from a future of gloom. The prophetic message was an offer of joyful reunion with God and His purposes, a future of hope!

Jeremiah was also a social analyst and time-keeper. He was observant of trends in society and signs of the times. So when God spoke, he was able to understand what God was getting at. Prophets would have been labeled as activists as well. Their messages were not only spiritual ones, but rather addressed social issues, promoting social reform. Finally, Jeremiah, along with many of the other prophets were often considered blasphemers. The very fact that Jeremiah claimed that God was going to destroy the temple and Jerusalem and send His chosen people into exile was unbelievable! Who did Jeremiah think he was??? So it could be today, this word that Kanagy brings to the church could be considered blasphemous, attacking our very existence. Yet, the Spirit affirms and confirms prophetic words in the hearts of those who long to hear God speak. I look forward to hearing how the Spirit affirms and/or confirms this word in our class.

Our class looked at 3 assumptions around which we had some interesting discussion.
1. We are living in a post-Christendom society. Christianity no longer has the kind of influence it once had to shape the broader culture and society (p. 30).

2. The church in the West is in Crisis. Kanagy along with many others throughout the Church claim that this decline can be measured both in numbers and other qualitative spiritual indicators. The Church in North America is uniquely poised between the declining post-modern church of Europe and the rapidly growing church of the global South. Kanagy claims that we are most like the church of Leodicea, described in Revelation 3: wealthy, healthy and well dressed, but in Jesus' own words, 'wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked' (p. 25)

3. Mennonites have moved from the margins (history makers) to the middle (history stoppers) of society, and thus, have lost their prophetic voice. Kanagy looks at how the White middle class Mennonites today used to be the immigrants, farmers and common laborers 50 to 100 years ago. We have now assimilated, moving from those margins to the more comfortable middle where we have encountered affluence, security, and better education. Natural human tendency is to protect the comforts of living in the middle. But the longer we live in the middle, the less we are able to identify with the life experiences of poverty and injustices of those we are called to serve in cross-cultural contexts. Kanagy believes we need to acknowledge the invaluable role of our Racial/Ethnic congregations in helping us to see the perspective of the world that God has, and from which we should be open to hear and learn (p. 28-29).

From all of this, some interesting questions came from our group:
1. What kind of influence did the Mennonite Church have 100 years ago (aside from dress)?
2. What is our focus of influence? Sometimes we seem more global than local. (though we do now have TATH) Can we do both?
3. In what ways do we exert our influence now?

We didn't come up with a lot of answers yet. But I'm very much looking forward to more discussion and ideas!

The Lord's Prayer

2008-04-03T20:17:00.002-04:00

Our Father in heaven,

may the holiness of Your Name be known.

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today the Bread of the coming Day.

Forgive us our sins

the way we release those who wrong us.

Keep us from temptation;

and deliver us from the evil one.

For Yours is the kingdom,

and the power, and the glory,

now and forever. Amen.

(Fr. Demetrius Nicoloudakis)

The Lord's Prayer

2008-04-03T12:54:00.003-04:00

As I was cleaning my kitchen about a month ago, my prayers for the Church, once again, were on my mind. All of a sudden, the burden became too heavy for me. I fell on the floor crying out to the Lord, pleading for God's mercy to be poured out on the Church. I was begging for God's voice to be heard and His reign to be seen. These intense episodes seem to be coming on me more frequently in the last year or so. Part of it, I think, is not only my burden for the Church, both in North America and around the world, but also I've been frustrated with myself, not knowing what I am supposed to be doing to be a part of the mission God has for the Church . . . I often don't feel like I am doing what I should be about as a disciple of Christ.

Well, what was different about this episode was God actually gave me something to do. He asked me to pray the Lord's Prayer everyday. At first I responded, "sure," more out of politeness. I was wondering what was up with that request -- was He just trying to calm me down by giving me something to do? Or maybe He wanted me to be more intentional in my prayer time. But of course, no matter the reason I was going to do it, believing that in due time I would see why. Though I admit there were a few days amidst the craziness of life when I nearly forgot, the most amazing thing happened. Since that day, I have literally been bombarded by the Lord's Prayer. Just yesterday someone who I hardly ever talk to sent me a YouTube of a little girl singing it (see the link below). And I appreciated the version we prayed on Easter, so I asked my pastor for a copy of it to hang in my bedroom. In the routine of this prayer, I started out focusing on the parts about God's Kingdom and our Daily Bread. And as I listened to what it says, I prayed it with increasing fervency.

A lot of the people I know are much more organized and systematic about their prayer times than I am, so this is probably not a big deal to them. And maybe this will be a step for me in that direction. We'll see.

Here is the 2-year old little girl singing The Lord's Prayer. I noticed her parents have done several YouTube recordings of her, a very talented little one!

Odds n Ends

2008-03-31T20:10:00.003-04:00

Farm Flick

My daughter and her friend were playing "Little House on the Prairie" this afternoon. Her friend was Ma and she was Laura. They set up a little chicken coup on the book shelf using rolled up socks as colorful eggs. I supplied a basket and they pretended to take the eggs into town. They proudly displayed their imaginary home and as I left the room I heard my daughter say, "now we can't forget to gather the eggs or the hens will sit on them and they'll grow into babies!" Her friend (a grade ahead in school) proceeded to explain rather knowingly, "no, we don't need to worry about that! You need to spray fertilizer on them to make them grow. And we won't do that." When my daughter questioned that innocent explanation, her friend went on quite incredulously, "of course you need fertilizer! If you want anything to grow, you need to spray fertilizer on it!"

New Vocabulary

"joyfully maladjusted" (is it not an oxymoron???) In other words, be comfortable with the fact that you are not comfortable with life as it is.

This term was given by a friend who has lived internationally and believes that anyone who has, should never fully readjust to culture and life in the U.S. She would also broaden the context to say that any Christian should be joyfully maladjusted to living in this world.

Anything New?????

So did anyone hear Obama?????? Anything good?????

Politics Promoting Unity

2008-03-20T11:59:00.004-04:00

Politics of Hope - An 8 minute excerpt from Obama's speech
in Philadelphia.